How to Get Over Unrequited Love

Just about everyone experiences the phenomenon of unrequited love at one time during their lives. The realization that you have intense feelings for another human being who does not return those feelings can be devastating. Upon learning of your plight, loved ones will often urge you to "just get over it." Unfortunately, they usually fail to offer constructive suggestions on how to deal with the unrequited adoration and get back to the business of living. Here are some tips on how to begin healing and moving on to better days.

One of the first things you must realize about unrequited love is that you are not the first person to ever deal with the phenomenon. The fact that you found yourself enamoured by someone who has no romantic interest in you does not make you a weak person or mean you are deficient in any way. What you feel is natural and a common human experience. Don't waste time trying to figure out what is wrong with you and why you allowed yourself to get into this situation. Instead, accept it and determine that you want to move on.

Once your decision to move on has been made, take specific steps to distance yourself from your adored one. During these early stages, it is still way too easy to interpret any common courtesies or kind words that come from the object of your affection as meaning much more than they actually do. Making it a point to find new places to go or choosing to not go to your usual haunts when you are sure the adored one is likely to be present will accomplish two things. First, you won't be eating your heart out by seeing him or her in the flesh; second, you increase your chances of making new friends and interests that can serve as a distraction from mooning over something that will never be.

Rediscover old friends and interests. All too often, people who are undergoing a bout of unrequited love tend to neglect friends, family and hobbies that once brought them a lot of joy. Even though your predilection at this early stage may be to stay home and throw a private pity party, get out and do some living. Have a late lunch with loved ones or go to a movie with an old friend. Being among people will make it harder to brood and remain in a constant state of misery. The more you make yourself get out and do things, the less difficult the effort will become.

Sometimes treating yourself to a long weekend or a short vacation can do wonders for your general well being. Get away from the ordinary and spend some time in a new environment where you can meet new people. Keep in mind you are not looking for a new romance, just a change of scenery. Go to a neighboring town, drive to the beach, or head for the mountains. Just get away and try something new that has no connection with your adored one in any shape or form.

Be patient with yourself. Just like recovery from any addiction, there will be days when getting over unrequited love will move forward at a brisk pace, then seem to slow or even digress for a short period of time. Don't allow this to frustrate your efforts. Accept the ups and downs as a normal part of recovery and make it a point to celebrate those days when you think little or not at all of your adored one. Over time, you will find the erstwhile object of your affection comes to mind less and less, and that your heart does not beat as fast and your pulse does not race the way it once did.

Even at your worst point, always remember that experiencing unrequited love does not define who you are. Your situation is temporary and has not deprived you of all the other good things you have going in your life. Consciously commit yourself to getting back on an emotional even keel and force yourself to focus your energies elsewhere. In less time than you ever thought possible, you will be over your unrequited love and be happy once more.