How to Overcome A Fight With Your Spouse

Overcoming a fight with a spouse can be more unpleasant then the fight itself. Why? Pride. Too many times we just want to be right. No questions asked, just shut up and listen. Sound familiar? I know I have days like that; but, I have to take a step back and remind myself that this is the person I love. This is my best friend, lover and companion. So why aren't their feelings and thoughts just as important as mine? Well, they are. I get caught up in my day or in the whirl wind of events around me and forget that I'm sharing my life with this person. I am not the center of the universe. Somewhere I forgot that.

This person whom I love and value so much, I am saying what they think doesn't matter. All because I want to be right. So now what do I do? Well for starters I can say "I'm sorry." Then, I can actually mean it. I don't have to to over explain, but simply say how or why I thought our unhappy event was wrong. I was wrong. Why was to so difficult to say?

So we've kind of patched the bridge, but to keep our relationship on an even keel, I know, I need to be more considerate. No one wants to walk around other person for the sake of getting along. That isn't what a relationship is all about. I know I need to be more giving toward this other person. This person who I choose to live my life with. I'm not avoiding points of aggravation, I'm just a little more laid back on jumping into an argument. I want to hear everything this person has to say. Every thought, every view point and respect their person. I don't have to agree with it, but I don't have to be "right" either.

Each of us is an individual. Respecting them as an individual is what is most important. After all, that is why we fell in love in the first place isn't it? I want someone to respect my views just as they want to be respected. I think we all have to slow down and take a breath (or count to 10, sometimes 20) and realize that we are not the center of the universe. As a couple you are just that, a couple. You choose to be a couple; therefore isn't that choice worth working for? Mending bridges after a fight isn't easy and often times can be down right uncomfortable. Our pride can overpower our common sense. Now I know why it is listed as one of the seven deadly sins.

My father always told me to "Treat others as you want to be treated." Yes, daddy, but that can be so hard. I know that I need to continually work at my relationship with my spouse. They are the friend, lover and the companion I choose to spend my life with. Arguments are always going to happen, how we handle them is how we achieve a better relationship with our spouse. That, or there's always make up sex.