How to Overcome Jealousy

Title: "Life Without Jealousy"
Author: Lynda Bevan
Publisher: Loving Healing Press
ISBN: 1932690859
Publication date: March 2009
List price: $14.95

There are many ways to learn how to overcome jealousy, and the book "Life Without Jealousy" penned by experienced mental health professional Lynda Bevan really outlines some great methods on how to do just that.

Bevan's book was published in 2009 as part of Loving Healing Press' 10-step empowerment guide series and is really a great read for those who either want to overcome jealousy or are affected by someone else's negative emotions.

One of the many strengths of "Life Without Jealousy" is the writing exercises. While not even the most thorough self-examination can promise an instant cure to overcome jealousy, the exercises are insightful tools for those brave enough to undergo this kind of intense self-examination.

The writing exercises are not for people who are not ready to recover. It will bring up some rather intense feelings, and having a trusted friend, support group, or therapist might be ideal for those who have especially deep self-esteem problems or are recovering from some form of child abuse.

Another aspect of the book that is especially helpful to readers is the clear explanation of the differences between jealousy and envy. Jealousy is a defense mechanism of insecurity designed to "protect" what someone feels they possess and could lose, such as a child, a job, or a romantic partner. On the other hand, envy stakes a claim to something that is not yours - such as a boyfriend, a job, a house, a car, or a family. Both slowly rot the soul, and while a healthy bit of envy can be helpful in goal-setting, Bevan explains both jealousy and envy destroy people and ultimately the very relationships the person who cannot overcome jealousy wants to preserve.

"Life Without Jealousy" is not an official 12-step book for those who are in related programs such as Al-Anon, Codependents Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous, or Debtors Anonymous. However, it can be very helpful to anyone working a 12-step program or a general group therapy situation. If this book gets the right kind of exposure, it could likely create groups all of its own, similar to those groups held by the faithful readers of Robin Norwood's "Women Who Love Too Much."

The fight to overcome jealousy outlined in "Life Without Jealousy" is mainly geared towards those already in committed relationships. However, the exercises can still prove helpful to those who suffer more general jealousy problems, such as relating to work, friendships, romantic crushes, or even family members. Information is provided on each type of jealousy, and for those in physically dangerous situations domestic violence resources for multiple countries are provided.

The key on how to overcome jealousy is to accept the book's theme which is of jealousy being a prison from which only you can free yourself. You alone must work on your recovery and change your thoughts. For those who want someone else to overcome jealousy, the book gently reminds you that you cannot change your loved ones and can only change yourself.

Getting a copy of "Life Without Jealousy" is highly recommended for anyone struggling to overcome jealousy, or those needing to find the courage to escape a domestic violence situation due to someone else's physically dangerous jealousy. Bevan pulls no punches in her writing, but remains loving and supportive throughout.