How Can You Overcome Rejection?

Have you ever tried to convince someone that you are who you say you are? Think. Sure you have! That job interview where you know you're the best candidate for the position. You sit at the conference table with the interviewers. You give them graphs, charts, a five-year plan of P and L for their company, and answer all questions correctly and truthfully. You've studied years for this career and this is your moment to shine, and shine you do. Their finely tailored suits show they are also highly intelligent and well taught. You're about ready to stand up and do your, "I am the man dance", which looks something like the "Sprinkler", when the leader of the pack says, "Thank you, but you aren't the person we are looking for." You sit there like an idiot for a few seconds while your brain processes what your ears just heard, and then the invisible knife that was just rammed in your heart starts to ache. Now moving more like the "Robot" instead of the "Sprinkler", you walk out the door to the waiting elevator. They didn't want you.

DISBELIEF

You're sitting on the bench at the homecoming game. You're the wide receiver, second string, but you're good and can do as well, if not better, than the first string wide receiver. You've studied and memorized ALL the plays, you've practiced even after the coach said practice was done for the day, and while others were out after the game you sat in coach's office viewing and reviewing the tapes from the previous game. To say you are ready for the coach to put you in is an understatement. Now each time the coach paces the bench you try to catch his eye because you know as soon as he notices you his face will light up and wonder where you've been all this season. Then he will get down on one knee in front of you, tell you the next play, and then pat you on your behind and yell, "Go get them!" The crowd cheers for the new player taking the field and your mom is on her feet announcing, "That's my son!"

Finally, you can't take it any more; the suspense is killing you. You want to know. No, you need to know! Is coach is going to play you tonight? So you take a deep breath, walk up to him, tap him on the shoulder and ask. He looks at you for a second and then down at his roster, looks at you then his roster, you, roster...."No." is all he says, and then turns back to the field. Your disappointment lands in the pit of your stomach, you feel sick, he doesn't believe in you.

REJECTED

The boy next door - literally. He has always lived beside you and you've always had a crush on him. He is a year ahead of you in school and drives the coolest car, plays all sports, wears all the right clothes, and has the funniest personality. No wonder you have a crush on this guy, who doesn't? Your tummy jumps every time he waves to you from his driveway. But a crush remains only a crush if his feelings aren't mutual. If they were mutual then it would be called a ROMANCE, worthy of Anthony and Cleopatra, no, no, Samson and Delilah, no, not them, Romeo and Juliet, defiantly NOT. Darn, are tragedies all you can come up with? You realize you need to expand your reading material to include an occasional Harlequin. Come on think...worthy of? Aha, Joanie and Chachi, the greatest crush, to love story, to happily ever after saga from the 1970s sitcom "Happy Days". I think they even had their own spin off. You stand in a daze; his Scott Baio to your Erin Moran. Who needs Harlequin when you have classic TV? But, alas, there are no "Happy Days" for your crush because you are to shy to speak, to skinny for a figure, and to plain to catch his eye.

Five years pass and you have been away to school. College had done wonders for your confidence, no longer shy. Nature took care of the figure, and the beauty salon turned plain into "Wow!" You wish he could see you now, but after five years he has moved on and that day will not come. Or would it?! Is that the car he used to drive still at his house, wait, is that him still at his house, with his parents? You walk over to say hello and you discover time had not moved for "this boy next door". He was older, out of high school, but that was all that had changed for him. He still goes to the old high school to catch the games, cruises around in what is not the coolest car anymore, and he is wearing the same clothes from high school. But something else has changed, that funny personality, it wasn't funny anymore, it was down right mean. He accuses you of being superior because you left and went to school. In a defensive manner, he said you had no right to look down on him because we both come from the same place, the same street, and I was no better than him! You never thought you were, until then, until that very second when you saw who he really was, and he was defiantly no Chachi! You walk away sad and wounded because the man standing behind was not who you thought he was another, his anger for change made it so he would not accept you for who you've become.

THE DODGE BALL OF REJECTION

I have just taken you on a journey with three different people, three different set of circumstances, and three different hurts. One, not being the right person for the job, two, not being believed in by his coach, and three, not being accepted by your neighbor. The running theme in all three is rejection. Rejection can be one of the most painful emotions there is, especially when we don't see it coming. It is like the dodge ball that smacks you on the side of the face when you think you are on top of your game: the sting, the surprise, the embarrassment. Out of nowhere this ball is thrown hard and directly at your face. Your cheek is red, your eyes begin to tear, and you want to yell, "Hey, that's not fair!" But you exit the court with your head held high and dignified.

JESUS' REJECTION

All three of these rejections on an individual bases can be painful, but Jesus had to deal with all three at once. He was rejected. Rejected because no one thought He was the right man, no one believed in Him, and no one in His hometown would accept Him as the Son of God. Rejection hit him three times and instead of dodge balls the people wanted to use stones, "Again the Jews picked up stones to stone him" (v 31 NIV). Jesus tried to answer them, but the crowd would not listen. "Again they tried to seize him, but he escaped their grasp." (v 39 NIV). Just imagine Jesus turning to leave and he is forced to wrestle with old friends just to escape. Escape from the angry mob, escape from being stoned to death, and worst of all escape the rejection of his people.

BACK TO JORDAN

The opposite of rejection is acceptance. If we are jilted by a lover then we go to our friends that accept us. If a set of your peers don't want you around you try to make friends that do, and if you are not welcome in one place, say your hometown, you go back to where you know you will be received, and that is just what Jesus did, "Then Jesus went back across the Jordan...And in that place many believed in Jesus." (vv 40, 42 NIV).

STOCK BOUNCES BACK

The humanity of Jesus is shown throughout the New Testament. We can't forget He is God, but we also must remember He is human too. The Book of John gives us brief glimpses of His human character. As in this case, Jesus is seeking acceptance in order to counteract the rejection He has endured. He humanly returns to a place He is believed in and accepted. He doesn't have to do any miracles or defend Himself. Across the Jordan River He can be Himself and people seek Him out in order to know Him. His approval rating just went up. The line on His stock went from below negative value straight up and moving higher everyday. He knew His stock was great! He just had to find the right people to appreciate His value. Yep, some time here will do Him good, a little deserved R and R. God rested on the seventh day and so He will now rest.

VACATION?

If any of you have ever had the glorious chore of being an office manager and was afforded a well needed and well earned vacation, then you know from which I speak. Turn off all phones! Even your kid's phones! Somehow your boss has them on speed dial as well. Don't even think of checking your email. You may worry that some urgent prayer request may come through from your church, but for this week you will just have to pray for everyone. And if you can leave town, leave, no - not tomorrow, now! Tell your family they have thirty minutes to pack and be in the car. If they're not there then the van is leaving without them. They all laugh, but then see how serious you are and make a mad dash to the suitcases. No time to ask where you are going, so better pack the long johns and bathing suit just in case. If leaving town is not an option then park your car down the street, just in case your boss does a drive by. And, do NOT answer the door. If you have to order pizza for delivery (after all it is your vacation) make sure the delivery person knows the secret knock, otherwise the house will be dark and quiet. Why am I sharing all this valuable information with you? Because when you take your vacation and you are accessible to your boss you will have no vacation at all. Basically you will just work for free that week.

DEATH

Jesus during His break was sent a message that His friend Lazarus was sick. "Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days." (John 11:6 NIV). Jesus knew Lazarus would be dead before He would arrive. He knew the very moment when Lazarus would take his last breath. Death was no barrier for Jesus. Going to see Lazarus meant going back to Judea where Jesus was almost stoned to death, where He was not accepted as the Son of God. Don't get me wrong Jesus was not afraid of going back. He would have to face their judgment and penalty soon enough. No, He was not afraid, He was glad, "Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe." (John 11:14 NIV). Lazarus's death was two fold for Jesus, one, it would begin His own road to death, and two, it was a chance to do a miracle that would fly in all the faces who turned Him away, with hopes of them believing. Jesus did what needed to be done as God, but Jesus as man grasped what anguish Lazarus's death caused when he saw His beloved friend Mary crying. Jesus cried too.

GOD IS CRYING

John allows us once again into Jesus' humanity and this time it is even harder to watch. You want to look away, look at the sky, or the ground, or "Hey look there's a blind man over there in need of your help." You want to be distracted, anything to keep you from seeing this. "Jesus wept." (John 11:35 NIV). God is crying, no not just crying, weeping. As much as you want to look away, you watch, Jesus on bended knee, His tears hitting the dust, and streaks on His face where the tears have washed away the dirt. His sobs draw onlookers and comments, but you stand there in awe of this deeply human reaction from a man that is God.

ACCEPTANCE

Jesus is many things: God, Son, healer, friend, leader, preacher, and most importantly salvation. But don't forget he is human just as The Book of John shows. Rejection hurts and it hurts Jesus when we reject Him, then and NOW. Remember the time someone rejected you, remember the hurt, disappointment, and shame. This is what we all have felt, no matter who we are, even Jesus. He has "been there and done that", so He knows. Take that rejection to Jesus and He will cry with you and replace that rejection with acceptance.