How to Overcome Social Awkwardness

Many people suffer from social awkwardness. Many attribute the awkwardness to shyness, but there are a select few who experience social anxiety, a psychological disorder characterized by a general fear, dread, or even paranoia of social situations. Whether you want to simply overcome a little shyness or you experience social anxiety on a regular basis, I hope these tips will help you to overcome your social awkwardness and give you the boldness to let the world see what you have to offer.

Introductions
Introductions can be scary for everyone, regardless. But there are a few things you can do to lessen your stress. First, remember that everyone wants to be liked. Introducing yourself to someone who does not appear to be interacting much with others might be like throwing them a lifeline. And introducing yourself to someone in close proximity might put them more at ease. So, how should you do it? Are there any special words? Is there a secret handshake no one has told you about?

Quite simply, no. There isn't a formula to introducing yourself. But, generally speaking, be sure to keep a pleasant, interested look on your face, look the person in the eye, and offer a greeting of some sort with your name. More than anything else, you need to be aware of timing. If the other person seems rushed or busy, it's probably not the best time. But if they seem bored or engaged in some laid-back, low key activity, it might be a good time. While this skill might take time and a little risk to develop, you are quite capable.

Conversation
Now that you have introduced yourself, what do you do next? Do you bring up some lame general topic like the weather, or do you divulge your life story, or do you try to crack a joke? Again, there is no singular formula for the next step. It depends on the context, the environment, how the other person responds to your introduction, your mood, and a host of other variables.

However, when trying to decipher how to navigate the conversation, there are a few key things to remember. First, stay in the moment. If something funny happens close by, share a comment. If you see something that sparks an interest, feel free to mention it. However, be careful to avoid making the conversation a one-sided monolog.

Focus on the other person as well. Ask about their job, their interests, their thoughts on a current event, etc. For those of you who are extremely shy or even anxiety-ridden in such situations, avoid making it an interview by remembering to stay in the moment. My final suggestion for engaging in conversation, and possibly the most important, includes listening and your facial expression. If the other person is not convinced you are even listening to them, they will shut down.

But if you can become an effective listener, you can enjoy the freedom of conversation without having the pressure of guiding the dialog. Facial expression is perhaps the best way to show you are listening. If your face reflects the tone of voice and their implied reaction to the story they are telling, they will be convinced you are listening.

If they say something you disagree with, allow your face to reflect a thoughtful moment and then follow it up with a question. If you try to fake listening, they will know, but if you simply learn to engage your facial expressions into your mental processing of what is being said, you will be regarded as a good listener and appreciated as such.

Becoming Friends
While one conversation usually does not qualify a person as a friend, it can lead to a friendship. Towards the end of the conversation, feel free to offer your contact information or ask about theirs such as a phone number or an email address. It might be easier to include social networking. Asking if they have a facebook, yuwie, MySpace, etc. account and become friends online might be a little less intimidating and in the end offer a more reliable way to stay in touch.

From there, just keep the courage up. Send them invites to groups you're in. If you stumble onto a website regarding something they seemed passionate about, pass the link along. Remember that they probably have full lives of their own and might not be as active online as you are, so don't be discouraged if your message or invite is not responded to immediately. Be sure to give the friendship room to evolve.

Avoid clinging too much to anyone. If you are waiting to hear from one potential friend, introduce yourself to someone else. Not everyone you meet will become your best friend. Some people are best as acquaintances, and that is okay. Enjoy the conversations and time you do spend with them and keep looking for some solid friends.

Friendship is one of the ways an individual can discover that the human race, though differing in color, belief, ideas, and methods, are at the core very much the same. We all want to be loved and accepted. We all want to feel understood and included. We all want to make others proud of us and feel accomplished. Discovering this truth is worth overcoming any shyness and anxiety to step out in faith and simply take a chance.

Please note: Social Anxiety Disorder is a serious psychological problem which may require the professional help. While these tips may supplement a good therapy program, they are in no way designed to treat such a disorder.