How to Be Your Own Best Friend

As a manager and one who has conducted many interviews, I have had the opportunity (or disadvantage, depending on the instance) of listening to a wide range of self-disparaging and self-deprecating remarks. In the context of a job interview, there is simply no place for comments of any type that are negative or self-destructive. We all learned early in our lives that it wasn't nice to toot our own horns or brag about our accomplishments. In some cases, however, that attempt to downplay our assets goes to an extreme.

This unfortunate habit becomes especially toxic in the arena of job-searching. Hiring personnel are going to squirm uncomfortably at remarks such as the following:

I was awful in school but I graduated.
My last job was horrendous so I behaved accordingly.
I hated my boss. He was always telling me that my spelling was atrocious and he said that I didn't know how to write a good business letter.
I have trouble with authority.
I've never found a job that I liked.
Most of the people I've worked with have been busybodies or creeps.

You've probably heard these types of comments from colleagues or friends. If you're anything like me, you automatically wonder how much of the information presented is reality and how much is colored by a negative self-image.

Here's how similar remarks can be delivered to an interviewer without casting a vast shadow on your desirability or appropriateness for a position.

When I was in school, I had some challenges with focus but found a way to turn it into a positive experience.
My last position was probably not the best fit, either for me or for the employer. I chose to leave, so that I could find something closer to my background and the employer could find a person who was more suitable for the position.
My previous employer and I didn't agree about a number of items. We would have managed to work more productively if we had both worked on improving our communications.
I've created many changes in the way that I approach my work. Initially, it was difficult for me to be the ideal employee but I have succeeded in learning how to assist management rather than oppose it.
All of the positions that I have previously held prepared me for the responsibilities of this position.
It has been my practice to keep my personal and professional lives separate. This is generally not a problem but lends itself to working cooperatively with everyone in the work environment.

Work on seeing yourself in a wholly positive light and it will emanate from you. You don't have to minimize others to do so, nor do you need to worry about sounding too self-confident. If confidence is true and founded on your accomplishments, your appearance and your true desire to be a positive contributor to the workplace, your self-doubt should vanish.

For fear of sounding like a psychology professional or counselor, my observations are based purely on my roles as parent and employer. Be kind to yourself. Determine what your strengths and assets are, develop them and don't be reluctant to explain what they are when asked. It will be simply a matter of time before your employer recognizes how valuable you are and what potential you have for increased responsibilities and leadership.