How Paid Paternal Leave Affects Self-Image, Masculinity

While paid leave from work has long been accommodated for women who give birth, many companies are now offering paid leave for fathers as well. Known as Paid Paternal Leave, many fathers find this benefit advantageous when considering what company to work for. The actual use of the Paid Paternal Leave varies, however, from one man to another and, in some cases, new fathers may opt to fore-go Paid Paternal Leave altogether.

Cultural differences play a large role in the decision of a father to use a company's Paid Paternal Leave. In addition to cultural differences, social class and family dynamics also play a large role in a father's decision to use company paid leave when their wife, or significant other, has a baby. In some cases, the more masculine a man is perceived in his culture, his family and at work, the less likely he may use his Paid Paternal Leave. While this is certainly not to say that every "masculine" man will opt to forgo leave, it does imply that many will.

As a woman, if you are struggling to convince your husband, or significant other, to take a paid leave from work when your baby is born, it is important to look at the factors that may be influencing his decision. While this is a certainly a company benefit that would seem to be taken without any hesitation, your partner may simply feel less masculine in doing so. Encouraging him repeatedly to take the paid leave may ultimately interfere with his self-image. Often, when women are faced with this challenge in their partner, they perceive the lack of interest in using Paid Paternal Leave as a simple lack of interest in the birth and post-partum care. However, this is oftentimes not the case.

In addition to masculinity, your partner may opt to fore-go the Paid Paternal Leave simply because he feels he can be more productive in a work environment. Often, because men feel they are not well equipped to care for a small infant, and are unable to assist in any real manner at home, they will opt to continue working during your recovery. Because men, even today, still earn more than their spouse, they deem it necessary to continue working to ensure income and household finances are not interrupted and that routines remain as normal as possible. When other children are in the home, your partner may assume a greater role in the care of the children during this period.

Paid Paternal Leave is a rare company sponsored benefit. For men who are permitted to use such a benefit it is always advantageous to take this time to bond with the new baby. While, as women, we are essentially offered no choice in leave from work during this time, many men opt to make the decision to continue working even when offered paid time off. If, as a woman, you are struggling to convince your partner to utilize this company benefit, it may be best to allow him to make this decision on his own and then to make other accommodations should he decide to continue working.