How a Parental "Time-Out" Can Curb Over Reaction to Child Behavior

You are at your wit's end and about to blow. The kids have been fighting all day. Every time you turn around another mess is left for you to clean up. The phone keeps ringing off the hook interrupting every chore you start. The youngest one has been constantly clinging to you whining and crying while their newest tooth is trying to push it's way through. You ask your oldest to turn down his music because your head is pounding. He responds by turning it up louder and you are ready for a fight.

Yes their behavior needs some modification but how you handle it is what's going to make the difference in the long run. Think about how often you yell before giving the situation a chance to be dealt with on a calm level. Kids might do what their told if you yell at them; however chances are they aren't going to keep that behavior modification. Yelling was just a band aid to fix the problem at the moment.

Sometimes parents need to take a time-out. Dealing with everyday behavior problems with a short fuse will only make the problem worse for everyone. Like dealing with adults when your upset, you take the chance of saying things you aren't going to mean later.

Out of anger you might tell you oldest one that if they crank their music again you're throwing it all out. They aren't going to take you seriously because they know that you are not actually going to follow through with it. Spewing punishments and what you are going to do when you're not thinking clearly is only going to make it harder later. Only threaten what you are going to follow through with.

A time-out for you will give you a chance to take a deep breath. Give your brain a chance to work everything out. You've had a lot of input from the day and it just so happens that the last event pushed you over the edge. That's no reason to take out all your frustrations from the day out on that one individual.

When you come out of time-out sit the kids down and have a talk. If you blew up before stepping away, open the communication with an apology. That will get all of their attention and make them more apt to listen to what you have to say. Express to your kids that you have been very stressed but that doesn't excuse their behavior. Let them know what they can do individually to keep things calm. If they are calm you are calm.

A parental time-out when things are just too much to handle at the moment will help you deal with your kids with longer lasting results. We send our kids to time-out not just for punishment but also so they can think about what they did and how they can fix it. Do the same for yourself and see what a difference it can make.