How Parents Can Cope With Separation Anxiety

Kelly Boyer
Parents work very hard to help prepare their children for the first day of school. They go through a variety of techniques to ensure that that their little ones feel safe and comfortable when entering into an unfamiliar environment. However, in all their efforts to protect their children, parents neglect to acknowledge their own feelings about the new transition.

It is very frightening for parents to let go of their children for the first time, even if it is just for a few hours. Yet, it is very important for parents to remember that this step helps encourage independence and teaches them the how to interact with others in a society. Feelings of guilt are the most common among parents, resulting in the inability to detach from their children. There are many other factors that play into separation anxiety:

  • Worry that children will not adjust to the new school
  • Miss spending time with their children
  • Trust issues about the school and teachers
  • Worry who might be taking care of their children

Fearing the Unknown

The fear of letting go the responsibility of control is always hard for parents. Children are entering into an environment where they will be learning to become socialized and less dependent on mom and dad. During this developmental period, parents also worry about how their children will behave. They fear that if their children misbehave it will be a negative reflection on their parenting skills. Not having the ability to control children's behavior while in school causes parents to feel anxious as their children transition from home to preschool.

Taking the time to get to know the teacher and staff at the new school is an excellent way for parents to alleviate stress for themselves and for their children. Building trust in the people that will be taking care of their children throughout the day is one of the most important steps to dealing with separation anxiety. The unknown will soon become familiar for both children and parents, creating a sense of security and comfort.

Additional Ways to Help with Separation Anxiety

Talking with other parents who are going through the same situation is always good. Not only is it comforting, but it is also therapeutic. Many parents feel as though they are alone and that other parents do not feel the way they do. This however, is false and there are many others who are experiencing the same anxieties. Leaning on others creates a powerful support system for parents and makes the transition less frightening.

Positive thoughts create positive outcomes. Parents should always be excited about the new feats their children's lives. Those parents who are in a negative mindset about the change are setting themselves and their children up for failure. To make the first day of school a success, parents need to feel good about the situation. Separation anxiety is less likely to rear its ugly head if parents can find ways to emotionally deal with the transition in an optimistic way. Parents should be proud that their children are reaching a new milestone in their lives.

All parents know that it is almost impossible to find time to do things for themselves. When children are off on their new adventure, parents need to take advantage of their alone time to rejuvenate their mind, body, soul. A few ideas to help parents relax are:

  • Reading
  • Going for walks
  • Joining a gym
  • Shopping
  • Going to the movies
  • Spending time with friends

The new transition will not seem as difficult if parents are able to find ways to unwind and take care of themselves. Taking advantage of down time can create peace of mind and eliminate the stress that is cause by separation anxiety.

Embracing children's independence and development is a gradual process. As time passes parents and children will begin to adjust to the separation. Insecurities and fears will slowly fade away and will soon be replaced with excitement and enthusiasm.

Published by Kelly Boyer

I began as a teacher and have now turned into a passionate writer.  View profile

  • How separation anxiety affects parents?
  • How parents can deal with separation anxiety?
  • Separation anxiety does not only affect children, but parents as well.
Oftentimes separation anxiety is only associated with young children who are beginning school for the first time. Although in most cases this is true, parents can also fall victim to separation anxiety.

1 Comments

Post a Comment
  • Abby Greenhill1/15/2010

    I don't think I put my parents through this, and I never had kids, but a nicely written article!

To comment, please sign in to your Yahoo! account, or sign up for a new account.