How Parents Can Motivate Their Child to Complete Homework Without the Nightly Battle

For most children entering school is something they look forward to. As they progress through grade school, middle school and high school the excitement of being in the classroom varies from year to year especially when they are put in class with a teacher who they've been told "gives a lot of homework."

Homework assignments, which are often seen as trivial and meaningless in the eyes of students and parents, can transform an otherwise peaceful home into a battlefield pitting parents against children. According to the book Homework Without Tears by Lee Canter and Lee Hausner, Ph.D. homework, if approached in the proper manner, need not be a hassle. For Canter and Hausner keeping the peace is all about parents having the right attitude. If parents dismiss homework assignments as being meaningless and unimportant so too will their children.

It may seem silly to you that a kindergarten teacher would ask your child to write a specific letter from the alphabet on a sheet of paper each night after having done so in class that day. Is it silly? No. The assignment not only reinforces the work done in class that day but also teaches children how to follow directions, work independently, complete tasks and manage their time.

Likewise, it may seem pointless to you to have to review multiplication tables over and over again with your child. Is it pointless? No. The assignment reinforces work done in class as well as teaches children how to appropriately deal with the monotonous routines and tasks they will encounter in the adult world. Tossing paperwork out the bus window or throwing temper tantrums because one doesn't feel like doing something are inappropriate actions in the adult world. Homework assignments help to get this message across to young minds.

When you think outside the box and factor in the life skills learned from doing homework its easy to understand why teachers assign homework. Homework is important! Unfortunately, children aren't as easily convinced of the value gotten from these nightly assignments. That is where parents come in.

Parental involvement is a key factor to ending homework hassles in the home. A positive attitude that expresses your support of homework assignments as well as its value can be a very convincing argument for motivating children each night. Unfortunately, some children need more convincing to do their homework than others.

According to Canter and Haussner refusing to do homework should never be an option given to students at any age. Michele Gordan, mother of three and Theology teacher at Gwynedd Mercy Academy High School in Gwynedd Valley, Pennsylvania, agrees. "There is simply no excuse or reason a child should refuse to do homework. Just not allowed. They're the child and don't have the right to refuse," said Gordan.

Setting the proper environment for doing homework is imperative according to Gordan. "Parents have to start off day one by instilling a good work ethic with their children in regards to homework. In elementary school parents should stay on top of their child's homework and assignments. A good working environment should be set up early on without distractions. A routine should be set up early, come home, have a snack and relax, and then set time for homework. As the child gets older, the parent doesn't need to stay as involved, depending on if the child is showing responsibility and the ability to work independently."

Unfortunately, even the best laid plans can be met with resistance from time to time as Roberta Ardis, of Sumter, South Carolina, has found with her six-year old son. When her son entered kindergarten Ardis designated a spot in her home where homework would be done each day. "Our first rule when Cody gets home is homework first everything else after. We have a special area with a table and two chairs set up where he does his studies everyday. No television, no radio, nothing but quiet time for homework," said Ardis. Despite following the suggestions voiced by teachers and written about in Homework With Tears occasions due arise in Ardis' home when homework time is met with "Please let me do this tomorrow, mom?"

Instilling a good work ethic early on, as suggested by Gordan, that includes an unwavering commitment to getting homework assignments completed has been a key factor in keeping the peace for Ardis. When her son puts up resistance she follows through with appropriate actions aimed at showing him refusal is not an option. "If he gives me a hard time, he gets something special taken away from him and explained why. I don't have as much trouble with this as last year. He has finally got the hang of it," said Ardis.

If not doing homework becomes an issue as a child gets older Gordan suggests parents revisit the measures they employed when their child first started going to school. "The parent then needs to step in and start doing what they did when their child was younger. Monitor their homework. If resistance continues to be a problem parents should take away privileges," said Gordan.

Taking away privileges is exactly what Audrey Wadsworth of Quakertown, Pennsylvania, does when her son or daughter attempt to ignore homework assignments. "They need to learn homework is their responsibility not mine. Things like loss of privileges, no sleepovers and groundings work," said Wadsworth. She also recommends to always have poster board, working markers, glue sticks and printer paper in the house. "It will save you a lot of aggravation and time," said Wadsworth.

Keeping in mind that no two children are alike parents need to be flexible in their approach to homework issues. What works for one child may not work for another. For some children losing privileges once is enough motivation to keep them in line. For others, who feel they can wear their parents down with an iron will, it is not. Parents should remember they are acting in the best interest of their child and not give in to the child as this will only make things all the more difficult the next time homework needs to be done. Some children may respond more favorably with a reward system such as being given an extra 15 minutes to stay up at night for completing their homework assignments.

Whichever approach you take for motivating your child, negative consequences or a reward system, it is important that your child understands refusing to do homework is unacceptable behavior to you and will not be tolerated. If you choose to use a reward system care must be given to your choice of words as some children may see an opening for manipulating you and taking control of the situation. Canter and Haussner suggests when using a reward system approach as motivation parents should use phrases like, "When you do your homework appropriately you will earn a reward" or "You did such a good job starting your homework without arguing that you can stay up 15 minutes later tonight."

Having the right attitude is important for motivating children however attitude alone won't get homework done. Some children will go to great lengths to avoid doing homework. Providing the proper setting for doing homework can eliminate many of the delay tactics children rely on for avoiding homework assignments.

Canter and Haussner recommend keeping all the necessary school supplies a child needs to complete their homework within the child's reach. If pencils, pens, paper, glue, scissors and rulers are made available in the immediate vicinity there is no excuse for the child to get up and wander about the house towards the television set putting an end to the nightly battle of redirecting him or her back to their books.

Homework doesn't have to be a contentious issue between parents and children. Yes, there can be peace and happiness at home when teachers assign homework. Parental involvement, a positive attitude and a suitable work area are all that is needed.

References:
Homework Without Tears, Harper Paperbacks; 2nd edition (November 6, 1993)