How to Be a Part Time Chiropractor

there are two sure fire techniques you can use to crack someones back. I'm not saying either will be painless, or safe even. I'm just saying both will get the job done one way or another. My first method is called "Late Wednesday Night Vertical Gutter Ball Drop - Special Edition", or LWNVGBD-SE for short.

The overall motion involves dropping someone from behind while you have at least one knee up. Thus, you will apply pressure to the vertebrae with your knees, hopefully resulting in a loud cracking noise. If you hear nothing the first time, do it again, and again, and again...

Continue the process until you get it right, or until the victi...err, I mean patient passes out from exhaustion.

Method two resembles a classic professional wrestling move, called The Torture Rack. pick the subject up while they face the opposite direction(point across the room and mention money, or a cute girl). Proceed to jump up and down after regaining your center of gravity.

This move puts a lot of torque on the lower back. Jumping up and down is also a good exercise technique. After about five or so minutes, you should carefully place the patient on a gym mat, or toss them through a cheap table made of particle board.

Benefits to being an amateur back doctor? You can stand to make some serious coin from doing this as a part time job. The medical community has a history of focusing on bodily organs and ignoring vertebrae. Because of this, there is no "safe" way to correct problems in the back region.

Seriously, i don't see the difference in trained Chiropractors, massage parlors or backyard wrestlers. All three apply pressure to with either their hands or foreign objects(florescent tubing for example). And like your average Backyard doofus, you should be prepared to flee the scene quickly if your patient is injured further..