How to Get the Passion Back in Your Marriage

The seven year itch. We've all heard of it. I'm personally going through it now! When times like this come upon us, we need to dig deep and look into our marriages and relationships to see how we can make them even better. Bad times come and go, but it's our job to try and keep the good ones rolling!

Below you will find different ideas to bring the passion and spice back into your relationship or marriage! Relationships take work, so go ahead and make the work fun when you can!

Have a date night! This one just seems like common sense, but we often forget to do it! Remember the days when you dated and you would work tirelessly at looking just right? Now you're lucky if you don't go to Walmart in your pajamas! Take one night a week, every two weeks, or once a month to go out together for a couple of hours without kids! It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but get yourself looking nice and go have some fun! Go to the movies, hold hands, walk in the park, just do something together!

Star gaze! This is something that you can do from the comforts of your back yard while the kids are sleeping! If you live in the city, well, just go outside and have some fresh air together while sipping hot chocolate if you can't get away from the kids. I like to grab a blanket and go to a nearby school yard. We snuggle up on the blanket and look at the stars. This is the best time, in my opinion, to talk really calmly about life and your relationship. There is something about the stars that is so calming. You may even see a shooting star or two! Don't forget to make a wish!

Have sex, and lots of it! Now, now, ladies. Most men's chief complaint about their relationship is that they are not getting enough sex! We don't work the same way, well most of us don't, but they do. I have noticed when my husband and I have sex at least three times a week, our passion for each other and our love is like nothing I've experienced. Don't believe me? Try it! I dare you! Even when I don't feel like doing it, once I get into it, I enjoy it. Quite honestly, it's something men need and something we can do for them. Just make sure if you are not enjoying sex in your relationship that you communicate it lovingly about your needs and desires.

Try something new! Go white water rafting, horse back riding, hit a museum. Do something you haven't done together before! Many times our life just get so mundane and just going out to dinner together isn't enough. Sometimes you need to have fun together, too. Not saying dinner isn't fun, but so many times when I'm out to eat with my family, I look at couples that aren't speaking at all to each other, and if they are, they aren't laughing. Laughter is so necessary to make things light and your relationship fun.

Listen In my marriage, we often point our fingers and throw out the "but" word after the other one complains. One thing we've been doing lately, before a fight even starts is to remind each other that we need to remain calm. Listening is so important. I mean really listening. Don't hear what you want. Don't take everything as an insult to you personally. Your partner is hurting and you need to know what you need to do to fix the role that you might have played in it all.

Get away! Once every few months, we've been trying to get away over night some where so that we can try and remember what it is like to be without kids. Sometimes, a couple hours isn't enough to rekindle passion. Sometimes you need a whole night or weekend. I know that hotels can be expensive, but sites like www.priceline.com let you name your own price, and we have gotten a really nice hotel room for just $30 a night one time. You don't need to go all out and eat out every meal, either. My parents take a little indoor grill, like a George Foreman Grill, and buy steaks at the grocery store. They get a bottle of wine and some other foods to make a pretty terrific night in without having to leave the room!

-Have an affair with your partner! Send each other a naughty email or text. Meet up somewhere like you were sneaking around with each other. Maybe even make up some fake names for each other. You can chat on line, sleep in separate rooms and "sneak" to the other person's room, etc. Have fun with it! Just make sure that people know you're doing this with your spouse, so they don't get suspicious!

-Remember why you fell in love! This is the important one! Why did you have such amazing feelings of love and infatuation in the beginning and why are they gone now? Pick at each other's brains and reminisce about the good times you had with each other! Don't let the flame blow out! You need to fan it and make it burn brighter and stronger!

Now if these things don't work for you, please keep trying. If, for some reason, the passion never gets back, then maybe try counseling, because there maybe some deeper lying issues in your relationship that need to be resolved or maybe even cannot be solved. Never stay in a situation that is dangerous! There is no excuse for violence, emotional abuse, etc. Make sure that if those things are happening, that you talk with someone you trust (i.e. a friend, parent, sibling, pastor, etc). Take care of yourself and your family and I hope that your passion blows the roof off your home! Good luck!