How to Make People like You

How to get people to like you is a loaded question. The answers are different for men and women. Age plays into the equation along with what you want out of the potential relationship. However there are some general rules that can make it easier for everyone. The most important thing you can do to get people to like you is to like yourself. So easy to say and write and yet it can be so hard to accomplish.

We are the only ones with full access to our thoughts and our feelings and we judge ourselves on our thoughts and our feelings yet others judge us on our actions and unfortunately in our society often on our looks. So how do you learn to like yourself even when you have full and complete access to all of your thoughts and feelings? You accept those thoughts, focus on the positive and then take control of your actions.

I am a fairly successful woman who is for the most part well liked. My friends see me as funny and strong and compassionate and someone who can take a joke and remain standing. But I have many days when I feel as if the world is winning. As if I am an old used balloon that has deflated and been stuck in the corner for years gathering dust and mildew and would engender nothing but disgust by anyone who walks by and sees me and my sorry self. But while I may feel like this often times no one but me, my therapist and sometimes my husband knows this - in fact no one knows what is going on in your head unless you tell them. So on the days when I feel defeated I tell myself to stand up straight and move forward. I also make a point of doing something kind for someone else. Kindness is lacking in our world. If you really want to get someone to like you be kind to them. Kindness is something we all crave and it can be very easy. Hold the elevator with a smile. Open the door with a smile. Ask an older person in the grocery store who is having trouble reaching an item if you can help and do it with a smile. If you get out of yourself you will feel better and the reality is that this translates into a glow and it is an authentic glow that draws others to you. Being kind to others helps you to remember to be kind to yourself and when you are kind to yourself you tend to like yourself more which leads to others being drawn into your warmth.

Another way to learn to like yourself is to get to a point where you have accepted your mistakes and failures. Mistakes, failures, secrets and shame can control us. If we do not accept our weaknesses then we are always afraid that someone will find out our truths and then these truths will be used against us. There is not a single person who has lived to adulthood who has not done a few things that make them feel shameful or like a failure. All of us are the walking wounded. If you can heal yourself and accept your secrets they are no longer weapons. By healing yourself you will be less likely to judge and much more open to accepting others and their human condition. When we accept ourselves we accept others and the people we meet feel this acceptance and they want to draw closer. Think about those people that you like immediately. I would be willing to bet that most of them share certain characteristics, the main one being making YOU feel accepted. Now think about the people you have known for a long time the ones you liked from the beginning and now might love. So if you really want people to like you the true secret is - like them. It really is that easy