How to Make Personal Changes for a Better You

Have you tried to make personal changes in your life and have people in your life tell you that you are acting funny or give you resistance?

Perhaps you noticed your patience was too thin and you consciously decide to have more patience with people to get along with them better?

Do you try to change the negativity you might have always felt in your life and are working on turning everything negative into a positive. Or, have you realized that you gossip too much in a hurtful way, so you consciously decide to rethink your words and not be so critical when you talk to your friends?

There are so many personal changes we may be lucky enough to realize about ourselves and want to make a positive change. But in doing so, we need to know that with that comes response from those we love, our friends and family. Just like changing your hair color, depending how drastic you are making your personal change, you will get feedback from people who don't like it.

At the same time, we might want to change a trait we have so we don't get hurt or dissappointed anymore. We might be too generous where people expect us to give and give, but they never give back what you've given them. We might be thoughtful and remember everyone's birthday, anniversary, special events, special dates, and other times you do something respectful to or for them but when it's your turn to be in the receiving end, no one is there for you. You can't go on like this forever with all this disappointment without resenting those people. So you try and scale back and cut everyone off.

You might like to gossip for fun. The old you who liked to gossip about others, cutting people at the knees has attracted certain close friends who like that sort of thing too. If you stop doing it, these people will be shocked and essentially might not be your friends anymore since you have nothing in common but the gossiping. These people can make you feel badly and tell you that you are not the same person anymore. You just need to retrain your friends and be honest with them so you can stay friends and also be successful in your plight to bettering yourself. Being honest with you is very important. Being honest with your friends is admirable. A real friendship will respect your honesty and not try to sabotage your personal goals.

This logic is the same thing that happens sometimes with weight loss. If you are dieting and cutting back on carbs and fats, but you have a standing weekly date with friends over pizza and beer. Now all o f a sudden you change it up and eat a salad and water while they feast on the carbs and fats. They might feel that you don't belong in this friendship since you might not be as much fun anymore in their minds. It's important to understand with any change, you will find resistance.

So when you help yourself in making good changes, be willing to let yourself realize the possible resistance in advance so you don't sabotage yourself and revert back to your old self.

I myself have been trying to make some personal changes in my life. My sister whom I am very close with recently got angry with me because she did not get my usual reaction or response to a situation. She exclaimed abruptly to me, "who am I talking to? I don't know who you are anymore. I don't knpw what happened to you, you got soft". I then found myself having to defend why I responded to the situation the way I did. Of course, it wasn't to her liking that I didn't support her way of resolving an issue, so it will be interesting to see how she and I will get along from now on.

I had realized within myself that I had an underlying bitterness or anger when I faced a response to anything. I took the low road and now I don't want to be that way anymore and I am consciencly trying to take the high road; pick my battles instead of fighting all of them and try harder to lead by example.

Of course, the underlying anger comes to us from many sources...a recent devastation, a job loss, financial trouble, disappointments, a broken or non existing relationship, etc. Mine stem from a job loss and worries about how I will pay my bills. Of course, no one has to know your business and they shouldn't. But we display an altered personal when our habits or personality changes for the negative that people question.

Here's how I handle making personal changes in your life:

1) It's a mind game. So, just as you would gear up to go on a diet, you gear up and tell yourself you will distress your life if you peruse these personal changes in your life every day until they become a habit or second nature.

2) Keep all your friends close by telling them you are trying to make some personal changes in your left to make "you" better, but tell them you still want them in your life and to please support you.

3) When you start thinking bad thoughts, immediately think of the glass always as half full. Don't allow yourself to think it is half empty. Recap all your blessings one by one just like you are counting sheep to fall asleep. Recounting your blessing lets you realize your life is meaningful and this trip your on is only making you better and worthy of all these blessings.

4) If you find yourself at a standoff with your friends over your changes, even after being honest with them, don't allow yourself to revert back to your old self. Don't allow failure. You have come too far. You will have to wean off these "bad" influences and look for new friends who like the new you. It's not the end of the world, but realizes that as your skin grows with you, so do real friends.

5) Keep positive images, pictures, songs or tag sayings or phrases at your finger tips. Use these as part of your tools to stay on track and give you strength.

6) Keep a log or journal on what you give to certain people and date it. So going forward, you eliminate all those people from your generosity. After a while, you will see a cycle on who you might have this relationship with and who you don't. So it's not everyone you give go over and above for, only the worthy one's.

We all have to make changes in our personal lives, so we can tweek ourselves to perfection. We are not perfect, but we can be better.