How to Pick Out an Engagement Ring Style for a Modern, Untraditional Woman

The days of a solitaire diamond engagement ring in a simple gold setting are over. Unfortunately, no longer is the concept of a sweet, small ring as a symbol of humble but loving beginnings a trend. Because most women are getting married much later these days, they expect their men to, for the most part, be able to select a ring that matches their personalities. The modern, untraditional woman doesn't want the same ring her mother wore....she wants her own. She wants an engagement ring that tells the world about her, not about a tradition. She doesn't want a symbol of the past, she wants to be unique. As such, keep the following rules in mind before popping the question to your forward thinking fiancé.

Modern Engagement Ring Rule #1: The stone doesn't have to be a diamond. Traditionally, the diamond was used in all engagement rings as a symbol of permanence due to its tremendous strength. Note the word "traditionally" here. Today, many women view rubies, sapphires, the onyx, pearls, and other rare stones as fiery symbols of their own unique love. Which brings us to our next point...

Modern Engagement Ring Rule #2: Color counts. Chances are, your fiancé is particular about her jewelry matching her outfits. After all, a bright red ruby or a deep blue sapphire won't go with every outfit she picks out for the rest of her life. Be safe on this one, and just ask. While you don't have to give everything away, you can coyly ask how she feels about women today accepting different types of stones as engagement rings. She'll likely voice any concerns about the concept that she may have. If you've already talked openly about marriage, the conversation shouldn't be a problem. If not, be creative and ask her opinion on colored engagement rings stones after referring to seeing one on someone else (in real life, on TV, or in print).

Modern Engagement Ring Rule #3: Colors can be deceiving. With all the trouble of deciding what type of stone to buy for your less-than-traditional woman, try not to forget that stones of all types come in many different colors. Beware of lab created stones, which are generally much cheaper than their real counterparts. While some stones do come in different colors naturally, a general rule of thumb is that if you know a stone is usually one particular color, buy it in that shade. In other words, a sapphire is blue, a ruby is red, and a pearl is off-white. Not always true, but safe.

Modern Engagement Ring Rule #4: Pay attention to designers. A generic ring purchased from a jewelry store chain might be a little less than thoughtful for your modern woman, depending on her tastes. Going back to the fact that women are marrying later in life, she likely has developed a taste for particular designers. Pay attention to the jewelry she purchases for herself, or take a look at the designers of the jewelry she admires in magazines. There may be a pattern. A personal touch from the right jewelry designer makes all the difference.

Modern Engagement Ring Rule #5: Metals matter. Of course, you know the metal in your fiancé's engagement ring must be of high quality. But if you were to walk into a room alone, would you be able to differentiate between sterling silver, white gold, and platinum all on your own? Understand that the sales clerk behind the counter is judging you the moment you walk in the door. He/she will be trying to make a sale, any sale, and would rather you walk naively out the door with a cheap metal than nothing at all. Because metals can look similar to each other, especially to men, while having extremely varied degrees of quality, be sure to ask for what you want specifically.

Modern Engagement Ring Rule #6: Take comfort into consideration. Today's most beautiful engagement rings often come with diamonds all the way around the band, pointed edges, strange shapes, etc. Beautiful, yes, but not practical. While practicality is hardly on the top of the list when it comes to what a modern woman wants in an engagement ring, it may come to mind when she returns to work after the honeymoon and can't type on her computer because of the jagged edges piercing the flesh of her finger. Unless she has asked specifically for a certain design that she has seen herself, it's best to leave the abstract creations alone.

Above all, remember to keep your fiancé's personality in mind. While a ring may be beautiful, it will be completely wrong if it can't stand out in a crowd as unique or if it doesn't capture the essence of her personal style. As far as the modern woman goes, if you can imagine her selecting it for herself in a room full of other designs, it's the right one.