How to Piss Off a Sports Fan in 2008

You know that guy-the one who, if you say something factually incorrect, he jumps on you and tries to make himself look superior by throwing different stats and names around. I myself am occasionally faulted for doing this. It comes with the territory of being classified as "diehard."

But sometimes even the casual observer can get into a fitful rage and blow you out of the water verbally. So, to avoid metaphorically getting backhanded, follow these tips to survive conversations with us!

Do NOT insult our team- I mean it. Seriously. Most of us can take a joke, especially if you're a fan of a rival team. But if you start trashing what our guys/gals just accomplished, you will get beat down. And maybe not just metaphorically.

Be knowledgeable! You don't have to know player names or what their lifetime batting average is. Having a few tidbits of information or knowing how the game went last night, however, can go a long way towards a pleasant few minutes of sports talk. It's not that hard to do, either: Pick up a sports section now and then, or log on to ESPN.com for a few minutes of free time.

Say Kansas deserved to be in that BCS bowl. This may be more personal, but I know a few people who agree. They beat the champion of the weakest conference in the nation. Congratulations! Now go beat the better teams in your own conference before strutting around like something!

Don't be afraid to use a personal example. If I want to make a point about the BCS being a futile system, I could compare it to a woman. Both are ridiculously complicated and will never be understood by the common man.

Call our favorite player a name. If you call him a loser, I'll just say he's victory-challenged. Say he's juiced, I might say the oranges were good that morning. If the conversation goes south to petty things, what's the point?

Keep the discussion in mind. Respond to their last point, not the entire topic. This goes for commenting on other's articles, as well. Let's say we're discussing whether Barry Bonds should go to the Hall of Fame when he retires. I you claim because he has never tested positive for steroids since testing was implemented in 2003. If I go on about him admitting to taking a cream his trainer gave him, this conversation is going nowhere.

Suggest Roger Clemens is sane. Really. I dare you. I'll expect you to follow up with "Paris Hilton is mature."

Say the NHL is a "big deal." Come down to Georgia and claim it. Do you enjoy being tagged "Yankee?"

Admit if you're wrong. This is the hardest thing for me when I'm arguing with a friend. Sometimes, the fanatic thinks he/she is superior, and then promptly screws up. Compliment the one who made you look really stupid, and then change the subject.

Blame the refs for a team's loss if it wasn't obvious. Nobody likes a whiner. And humans make mistakes. If it didn't completely alter the game, or if it wasn't blatant, don't mention it.

Claim anything in sports is perfect. You're entitled to your opinion. But it's wrong.

Just always remember: Sports is a game. And if you're talking to a fanatic, he doesn't remember it. So you can be the emotionally-stable of us two.