How to Plan a Baby Shower for a Pregnant Teen

When a teenager in your life becomes pregnant, the last thing on your mind is how to plan a baby shower. You're wondering how this happened, what could have been done to prevent it, and where to go from here. While these are legitimate thoughts, don't forget that, once the decision has been made to keep the child, a new life is on its way (ready or not). Every life deserves a celebration. Equally important, every new mother needs an arsenal of new baby supplies, especially teen mothers who have little access to higher paying jobs. Planning a baby shower for a teen can mean providing her with the gifts she will need to give her baby a good start in life. However, there are a few issues to address first, as planning a teen's baby shower is a bit different from planning a shower for an adult. Take the following tips into consideration.

Teen Baby Shower Planning Tip #1: Be tactful. While at an adult's baby shower you might make jokes about "how" the baby came about or discuss having future children, these issues are taboo at a teen's baby shower. Be discrete and hold your tongue on issues of sex, birth control, marriage, and family planning in general.

Teen Baby Shower Planning Tip #2: Include the teen mother! While, being an adult, you may feel that the actual planning of the shower should be solely up to you and left out of the hands of the irresponsible teenager involved, having this attitude isn't fair to the new expectant mom. She will need to learn how to handle the adult world as soon as possible, and excluding her from the planning will only add to her anxiety about being too young for her position. Let her have fun picking out her decorations and themes. Teen pregnancy is hard enough. Let her have this moment.

Teen Baby Shower Planning Tip #3: Invite other teenage guests. There's an old fashioned notion still going around that inviting teenagers to their pregnant friend's baby shower is inappropriate. While other teens aren't likely to be able to provide much in the way of baby gifts, their presence is key for minimizing the pregnant mother's anxiousness. This shower is for a teen. She's bound to want to invite her friends, most of which will be her age. She'll need as much support as she can get during her pregnancy, so be sure not to ostracize her pals.

Teen Baby Shower Planning Tip #4: Keep the focus on the pregnant teen during the party. Adults have a way of getting nostalgic at baby showers that are thrown for teens. They talk about their own baby showers, their children, and their experiences with raising children. In the process, they ignore the teen mother because she cannot relate (likely having never thought about many of the issues being discussed, or not ready to talk about them with ease). Adults also tend to feel awkward about the situation and just don't say anything at all to the teen mother out of being fearful of embarrassment. Speak to the guest of honor, and keep her engaged in the main conversations. It's ok to ask her how school's going, how work's going, or anything you might normally have asked before. A break from "baby" talk will be appreciated, and it might also get her to thinking about planning for a life again.

Teen Baby Shower Planning Tip #5: Shop for gifts with both baby and mother in mind. While you'll want to be sure that the new baby will have plenty of toys, diapers, bottles, etc, don't forget that the teen mom might be looking for other ways to improve her baby's life, such as getting a college education for herself. A short term college fund investment, purchasing school books and supplies, career books and training information, etc, are all acceptable baby shower gifts. However, you might want to give these in private and offer an actual baby gift in public for the sake of the mother's privacy. She may feel embarrassed at the suggestion that she is not currently able to take care of the child financially, something she is already likely to be keenly aware of. However, investments in her future, not just the baby's, will be appreciated.

Teen Baby Shower Planning Tip #6: Make it fun. If you happen to be the parent of the pregnant teen in question (or if you feel that you might as well be), you probably want to break out the black balloons to show the world just how unhappy you are about the current circumstances. Put your feelings aside and let the teen mother have fun. This shower will give her a break from the pains of being pregnant so young, and will also give her a bit of hope and support. Have the right attitude at party time. Leave the lectures and sour faces at home.

Teen Baby Shower Planning Tip #7: Plan the party as if no one else will be throwing one. Many people shy away from giving a teen a baby shower, which is harsh, but still true. You may very well be the only one providing her with a shower, so make it a big one. Invite family members from both sides, and include the father and his family if they will be playing an active role in the baby's life.

Planning a baby shower for a teen can be a bit awkward, but just remember that the expectant young mother is still the same person inside. She needs to know she is supported, loved, and (gasp) still allowed to have fun. Make her baby's shower an event to remember.