How to Plan an Extra-Special Family Reunion

If your last family reunion was a disaster, you may be considering dropping the idea of even having one this year, but before you do, read on and see if there are some things you could do to eliminate the problems and inject new life into that once-a-year gathering of your clan.

A gathering that includes a large number of people just doesn't evolve on its own; it takes some advance planning. Such planning is usually done by one or more of the family members who live in the area where the reunion is to be held. After a basic plan is formed, submit an outline to other members who live further away for approval and additional suggestions. That way, everyone gets a chance to have some say about the reunion, and come with the feeling that they have invested in its success.

The advance planning group should:

1. Contact families to see how many people will attend the reunion.

Use the computer wherever possible to save money. If someone declines, tactfully try to find out why. If it is a conflict with some other family member, you may be able to say something that will reconcile the two of them. If it is because of financial difficulties, you may know some other family member than can help out with a place to stay during the reunion, or even another family to ride with, so that they will be able to come. Some may say they will come and change their minds later, but that first contact will at least give you some idea of how large a group you need to accommodate. Promise to get back to them as soon as possible with a definite cost per person figure.

2. Choose a tentative spot for the reunion based on the number of people involved.

Avoid having your reunion in one of the family homes if at all possible. Even if your family is small, a single home is usually not meant to accommodate a gathering like this, and lots of family squabbles can be avoided by not providing any opportunity for stained carpets, broken vases, scratched furniture, etc.

Check out local facilities first. If you have a number of families coming in from out of town, they have probably already had their fill of traveling. Our city recreation department has a historic home they rent out for weddings, or other types of gatherings. They will also, for a reasonable fee, reserve a particular park for the same purposes. We have a local Rose Garden that is often used for weddings in our area. Local churches, scout houses, lodges, and scenic attractions may also be available.

If you can provide transportation for your group, a nearby resort sometimes makes a good spot for a family reunion. If your family likes to camp, there may be a campground with all kinds of amenities available.

Check out the cost and run it by a few other members of the group, but be ready to move quickly after a decision has been made as some places require reservations weeks ahead of time for large groups.

If this is the first reunion in many years, provide nametags to help distant cousins or forgetful senior citizens get to know one another again.

After these things are taken care of, the advance planning group is ready to delegate some authority to other planners. They should:

1. Choose someone to plan the "Welcoming" Ceremony.

For example, you could get everyone in the mood to participate by starting your reunion with introductions. Take time to have each family group come up front and stand together as one member tells their name (for those who don't already know), where they live, and some other interesting tidbit the rest of the group probably doesn't already know. Have a volunteer with a digital camera handy to get a shot of each family unit. (More about that later.)

Follow up your introductions with "Prize Time." Everyone loves to get something for nothing, so pick out the biggest extrovert to serve as the master of ceremonies who will hand out prizes to: the oldest person, the youngest person, the tallest person, the shortest person, the one who traveled the farthest, the one with the reddest hair, the one who is wearing sunglasses, the one who didn't bring a cell phone,* etc. The prizes can be stuff picked up at a dollar store long before the date of the reunion.

2. Choose a good recreation director who has some experience in this area.

This person should make sure something is happening, especially for kids, almost all day long. Relays, various kinds of contests, hikes, swimming and fishing if there are facilities for them, etc. For adults, a good basketball or baseball game will usually draw lots of participants. Board games appeal to almost everyone. A circle of comfortable chairs set up under the shade trees would be great for those who just wish to visit over a cup of coffee or a cold drink.

3. Round up several digital photographer volunteers willing to take lots of pictures.

Ask your photographers to wander around the site, taking photos of everyone at the reunion. They could work in shifts of an hour at a time so that none would be overburdened by the project. Give each photographer a checklist of everyone present at the reunion to make sure one or more photos of each attendee is taken. Then, late in the day, have the photographers join someone who has a computer and head off to their home to download the photos and copy them to inexpensive computer discs. When the reunion ends, give each family one of the discs to take home as a keepsake and reminder of the reunion.

If finances permit, you might want to have a professional photographer shoot a picture of the whole group together. If the cost is prohibitive, let your amateurs give it a try. Some small digital cameras do a really professional looking job these days.

4. Choose a person to plan something special for the older people at the reunion.

After all, there wouldn't be any young people there if not for the older people, right?

Select several willing older attendees and have them come up in front to be "interviewed."

Ask them questions about how long they have been married, what kind of job they had

when they were young, what was the most exciting thing that ever happened to them,

what did kids do for fun 50 years ago, etc. If you run out of questions, take some from the audience.

While you're at it, you might want to honor all the older people in the group whether they participated in the interview or not. Maybe a rose for each older lady and a boutonnière for each older man.

5. Ask around about possible existing genealogical studies of the family history.

There is a huge amount of interest in family history these days. Often, when planning a family reunion, you will find some family member who has delved into the family background and even had a copy of their findings printed. If so, perhaps that person would be willing to sit at a small table with a copy of his book for a small part of the day. Ask if he might like to bring a few extra copies in case anyone was interested in obtaining one for themselves at a reasonable price. Another alternative might be to have him provide flyers so they could order the book or booklet to be mailed to them at a later date.

All the suggestions above are just that, suggestions. You know your own family, so come up with some unique ideas that are a good fit for them.

Finally, when each of your planners has had a chance to work out their plans, have them give you a copy of their schedule, along with the total expenses they expect to encounter. If the cost is unreasonable, say so, and ask them to scale their plan back a bit. Then you can combine the anticipated expense of each planner with the of renting the reunion site, food and drinks, prizes, computer discs for photos, etc. and be able to furnish every family with an exact cost for each attendee. (Don't forget to take into account local family offers for housing and transportation, provision of food and drinks, prizes, etc. The less it will cost for each family member to attend, the more likely they will be to come.

If you do a little bit of advance planning, you can make your family reunion this year one each family member will look back on as a time of celebration rather than a boring event they had to endure.

*Why not set up a cell phone spot somewhere on the grounds for those who insist on conversing with their friends back home? Nothing is more depressing at a reunion than to see everyone talking on cell phones rather than visiting with the family members they are supposedly there to reunite with. Put a big sign on the cell phone spot and announce its location during the welcoming ceremony to make sure everyone gets the idea.