How to Plan a Great Family Reunion

Organizing a family reunion can be a daunting task - food, lodging, entertainment, careful avoidance of sensitive issues. How can you ensure a family reunion that runs smoothly? Just follow the tips from reunion experts and planners below.

Getting Started

- Start planning your reunion as early as possible. Most experts recommend at least a year of planning time, but if your reunion will take place at a high-demand location, you might want to start even earlier.

At the YMCA of the Rockies in Estes Park, families begin planning reunions an average of two years in advance due to high demand, said Bill Almond, the resort's director of group sales.

- Enlist the support of as many family members as possible. The more relatives that are pulling for a reunion, the more likely it will happen - and the more ways the work can be divided. Some tips for getting people interested:

Get extra marketing materials from the site where the family reunion will be held. Pick up brochures and other materials from the town or state visitor's bureau, nearby fun places and the lodging you've chosen. Send them out to all your family members to get them excited about the trip. (Even easier - some businesses have e-postcards you can send out quickly and easily through e-mail, or just send links to the companies' web sites.)

Connect everyone. When you're contacting everyone about the reunion, get their e-mail addresses. Make a big list of e-mail addresses, phone numbers and names and send it out to the entire family. This way, family members can start connecting with each other before the reunion even starts - and they'll be more excited to go.

Set up a group site. When families are spread out across the country, it can be hard to coordinate planning a reunion. Setting up a family web site on the Internet can be a tremendous help. Free sites such as blogspot.com or Yahoo Groups have easy templates that allow families to post pictures and chat with each other before - and after - the reunion.

When to Have It

Many reunions run from Friday through Sunday. One-day reunions usually aren't worth the trouble for those traveling great distances, and anything longer than three or four days can be hard to manage.

Experts suggest planning the reunion in conjunction with a milestone, such as the matriarch's birthday or the grandparents' anniversary - a great tactic to convince people to come. Who wouldn't feel bad missing Grandma Lou's 90th birthday celebration?

But they also say you should avoid holding it on major holiday weekends. Fourth of July and Thanksgiving are popular reunion dates - but not recommended. Travel can be difficult and expensive over holidays and half of the family is likely to attend their spouses' family gatherings instead.

Instead, many reunion experts suggest planning an off-season reunion. Families will usually have an easier time booking accommodations and activities in early fall or late spring rather than at the height of summer. Find a handful of dates that work for the majority of family members and then look around at what kind of accommodations and activities you can get during those time periods.

Sarah Kleiber, a group sales manager with YMCA of the Rockies, suggests that families remain flexible and think outside the box when it comes to dates.

"We're busy from mid-June to mid-August," she said. "So it's best to think outside that window. What about a long weekend in the fall? Or a winter retreat? There are so many options."

As soon as the days are selected, send a "save the date" note to each household. As details are worked out, send e-mails or flyers periodically to remind everyone.

Where to Have It

Family reunion destinations vary widely. Some families hold their reunions in the grandparents' town. Others rotate annual reunions among the hometowns of the various branches of the family. And some families just choose popular vacation destinations that have no real "family" connection.

Whatever destination you choose, though, experts say it's important to find "reunion-friendly" businesses. Here are some tips for finding lodging and activities that work for your family:

- Contact the town or state visitor's bureau and tell them how big your group is and what you're interested in doing. They'll pass the info along to hotels, resorts, car-rental agencies, restaurants and attractions, which will in turn send you offers, coupons and brochures catered to your needs.

- Resorts and guest ranches are great reunion sites. You don't have to cook or arrange catering, and larger properties often have a variety of lodging styles to fit everyone's needs.

- Campgrounds are a good choice for budget-conscious or outdoorsy families. Some family members may not like to camp, though, so make sure there is a hotel/motel nearby or that the campground also offers lodging.

Money Matters

It typically costs between $200 and $400 per person to attend a three-day family reunion, including travel, room and meals, so it's important to keep cost in mind when planning. Organizers should not make the reunion too expensive for family members, even if that means selecting a property that might not be as upscale as some would like.

Experts recommend seeking out discounts. Many hotels and resorts are willing to give perks to big groups. When calling potential businesses for lodging, ask what dates will save you the most money and make sure the owners know you plan to bring them a lot of business. Looking for discount coupons and offers in brochures and travel guides can save money; taking advantage of advance booking specials or discounts for children can also help.

If the reunion is still pricy for some family members, help those in need with tactful fundraisers. Some ideas:

- Start an anonymous scholarship fund. Family members can each send in an extra $10 or $20 to the reunion organizer, who can then distribute the money among families who are having a hard time with the cost.

- Have fundraising opportunities at the reunion. For example, one large family likes to hold a cake auction at their annual reunion. Family members bid on homemade cakes, with all proceeds going into a fund to help defray the cost of the reunion for other family members.

For all family members, though, it's important to request a deposit in advance. The money can then be used to cover initial deposits for caterers, groups, activities, rooms and restaurants. Insisting on money in advance also helps to ensure that family members won't back out at the last minute.

Organizers also shouldn't be afraid to overcharge. Family reunion experts suggest billing family members an extra $10 to $20 over the base cost of the reunion. The extra money comes in handy when unexpected expenses pop up, costs run over or even when a late-night gab session just demands a snack run. Most of the time, family members won't even notice you asked for extra, says Lori VanHorn, marketing director for YMCA of the Rockies.

"They're not going to notice an extra $7, but they are going to appreciate that you went to Safeway and got chips and salsa for everyone or something like that," she said.

But in case family members do gripe, it's important to keep careful track of the money received and the expenses. Use your records to show them how all of the funds were spent.

During the Reunion

Once everyone arrives, try icebreaker games to help make everyone comfortable. The first night of the reunion is perfect for icebreakers- try well-known activities such as charades or find new ones online.

Once everyone's re-acquainted with each other, group activities will be easy. Plan to include a few activities that everyone can participate in during the reunion. Common events include picnics, banquets and bonfires. Some families charter buses to go shopping or to an amusement park, zoo or casino.

If possible, incorporate "family" into all your activities. Display a family tree on icebreaker night; bring old photo albums to look through at the barbeque; have a family trivia game (When did the family's first ancestor reach the U.S.?) and give out prizes.

But keep everyone's abilities in mind when you're planning. A bike ride and a white water rafting trip might not be ideal for your 80-year-old grandpa, while young kids might get bored just sitting around talking.

Most importantly, experts warn, don't overload. Family members will get burnt out if they have to spend every waking minute together, and individual families usually like to have some time to explore on their own. Shoot for one planned activity a day and then let everyone do their own thing.

Finally - RELAX. "Forget about a picture-perfect gathering," says Eileen Ogintz, an expert on reunions and traveling with children. "It's not going to happen, so make this your mantra - 'I am not responsible for everyone's happiness,' and then let it go."

No matter what happens, Ogintz says, it's being together that counts the most. "It always ends up being worth it," she says. "Because it's better to catch up here than at a funeral."