How to Plan a Wedding

Last August my boyfriend of three years finally proposed to me. Since I was only 20 at the time, you're probably thinking that we should have waited another couple of years. I'm now 21, and my wedding is in four months. Being a student as well as a bride is a little much to handle sometimes. That is why I figured I would share some of my lessons learned with the other young brides, and give everyone else a little laugh at my expense.

Now, just letting you know ahead of time, this is going to be a multiple article piece and the next installment may take a few weeks to show up.

When my boyfriend-now-fiance proposed, I was ecstatic. That beautiful glittery ring was all I saw for at least two months. Then people started asking the questions --- "So, when's the big day?" At first I shrugged and said, "I'll figure that out later!" I was happy, after all! I had a beautiful engagement ring, a man who had given a solid commitment (because if he backed out, I told him the ring was mine anyway for the trouble!), I was having a great semester at school... why rush?

I quickly realized that people love weddings, and when they smell one coming -- they push! My friends started telling me that after you're engaged it's a good idea to marry within a year. Before I turned 17 I was not a girly-girl. I loved to sit alone and read and paint and play my guitar. I knew nothing of this etiquette. All I knew was the basics -- dress, cake, flowers, bride, groom, church, minister. It didn't take long for the rude awakening to hit me, that there was far more to getting married.

As it turns out, there's an entire industry geared just towards this one day in a couple's life. My first lesson from this journey to the alter, is don't procrastinate. Once that ring is on your finger the clock starts ticking. Even if you're as clueless as I was, find someone you trust who isn't. In my case, my mother-in-law to be was my angel. She started the ball rolling by actually getting us to set a date. She convinced us to push back our original wedding date of May 26th to June 23. I reluctantly agreed, because having a wedding in summer in Louisiana is no picnic. It turned out for the best, because I had no idea how much work was ahead of me.

After setting a date, we had to put a deposit down on the church to save our date. For summer weddings, the earlier the better. Summer weddings are popular, and churches sell out Saturdays in summer much quicker than you'd think. Thankfully, our date hadn't been taken since my mother-in-law thought ahead.

Next came picking a reception hall. This part was hard. We visited numerous reception halls, and none really suited us. It took us two months to find one that wasn't taken and would fit most of our requirements. Remember, no reception hall is going to be completely perfect; there's always at least one negative. It may be beautiful, but is it big enough? If it's big enough, is there a time limit? Does the hall have rules about outside food and alcohol? Do you need to make sure your catering company provides insurance? Does the hall provide tables and chairs? Is there a fee for setting up the day before? These are the questions you need to ask.

We found a reception company that provides the hall, catering, floral arrangements, and takes care of all set up and taking down of decorations. If you live in the Lake Charles area, I highly recommend Treasures of Marilyn's or Marilyn's Veranda. Not only are we getting all of those services, but they also provide a wedding consultant. She made it worth every cent! She will make sure that everything stays on schedule, the hall looks exactly like we want it to, and that we have enough food and drink for everyone invited.

That being done, I moved on to narrowing down my guest list. Initially I had around 100 guests of my own to invite. This became a problem because they all have to travel four hours across the state and everyone I invite to the wedding is going to have to be invited to the reception also. Most receptions will run about $12+ a head. If you think that for every ten people that's $120 more dollars to spend and when you're on a budget you realize like I did that invitations should only be sent to the people that matter most. By doing this, I eliminated a lot of people who I wouldn't have even bothered saying hello to at the wedding, and would just be invited for the sake of a gift. The average person only spends approximately $35 on a wedding gift and if you invite a family of four you're going to spend $48 on that family. You shouldn't invite for the sake of gifts because chances are it won't be worth it anyway. Invite people because you want to share this special day with them. The day will mean more when you invite people who are all smiling and gushing over how lovely your wedding is.

Now comes the part that every bride's wedding day revolves around: the dress. I had been looking at dresses for quite a while. Nothing seemed to fit into my ideal that I had since I was a little girl. Everything was slinky, and plain or gaudy and outdated. The Internet became a good friend in my search. I found a few dresses that would work, but nothing hit me the way everyone said, "The Dress" would. After a long time of searching I found a designer called, "P.C. Mary's." They make wedding and Quincera dresses. While looking through the P.C. Mary's collection I found that instead of seeing two maybe three dresses that were okay, I had trouble narrowing it down to just five! Finally one night my mother and I looked through the whole collection on-line, and we came on a dress that made us both gasp. We were afraid to look at the price, though, because of how elaborate it was. We looked for the price that would determine if the dress was in our budget or not -- and the website said the recommended retail was $830-$940. Perfect! I immediately sought out retailers for the designer that were in our area.

While finding the perfect dress on-line turned out to be a needle-in-a-haystack type search, finding a boutique I could trust nearby turned out to be an equal challenge. I found several in New Orleans, however my sisters, mother and I were unwilling to venture into the city to see if the boutiques still existed. I made a few calls to some boutiques nearer to my parent's home. Most were rude and gave me ridiculous turnaround estimates. Frustrated, I finally made a call to a boutique in Gulfport, Mississippi. The lady who answered the phone was extremely helpful, and after telling her the dress style number she immediately called the manufacturer to find out what was in stock. She called me back within five minutes and let me know what was available.

I packed up my sisters, mother, nieces, and brother in law and drove the hour to Gulfport that day. I was measured, had my flower girls and bridesmaids measured and placed an order that day. So far, I'm very pleased with my decision -- especially since at this boutique, they dress was only $710! While I was in the store, the saleslady showed me a few other dresses by P.C. Mary to give me an idea of the quality. I'm very excited to see how the dress looks when it comes in!

I suppose this is where part one of the series must end. In the next part, I'll tell you how the dress in the magazine (on-line) compared to what I received. I'll also continue with a review of how my wedding planner is setting up my reception.

Until then, happy planning!