How to Use Positive Reinforcement in Potty Training

My daughter will be turning three in a few months, and we are in the finial throws of toilet training. Before becoming a mommy, I was an animal trainer in a wild animal park. I was well read and practiced on behavior theory and operant conditioning techniques, including positive reinforcement. There is a good reason that so many authorities recommend using positive reinforcement to help children learn to use a toilet - it works.

Most people have a general idea of how positive reinforcement works. The child does something that you want to happen again - like using the potty - and you offer a positive reinforcer, like praise, or a small treat, so they will be more likely to repeat the behavior. Where some people make mistakes are in the details. For reinforcement to work, the reinforcer (the praise or treat) needs to happen as close to the desired behavior (the potty going) as possible. For my daughter, I used a single M & M for urinating in the potty, and a small plastic animal figure for having a bowel movement. She was frightened of pooping into the potty, so I needed something she wanted bad enough to try. Now I didn't want her eating candy on the potty, so I used praise at that point. As soon as I could hear her begin, I'd clap, tell her how proud I was, and dance around - just be as silly and encouraging as possible. She got the candy after hand washing, and I made sure to tell her she was getting it because she used the potty.

The next point of confusion for many is the reward schedule. I think praise can be offered indefinitely. I assume the day will come when my daughter will tell me to knock it off with the clapping every time she visits the restroom, but until then, I'll probably keep it up. The M & Ms are a different matter however. Many parents are afraid to offer rewards, believing they will be forced to do so forever. Positive reinforcement actually works best if the reward is given only sporadically. I know this is different than what most of you probably have heard - that consistency is the key. Consistency is important. Be consistent in putting your child on the potty, stay consistently happy and encouraging, and keep those rewards coming in the early stages. Once the child is using the potty on any sort of regular basis, however, you can start giving treats as a surprise. Karen Prior, in her book, "Don't Shoot the Dog" gives a great example oh how this works. Imagine a slot machine paid out a small portion of what you put in every time, or every fifth time, or never. In any of those cases, I doubt people would continue to plunk coins in for long. It's the not knowing when the reward is coming, or how much it will be, that makes people continue adding money as the hours tick away. The coin adding behavior is best reinforced on an unpredictable schedule.

How rewards are offered can also be useful for shaping behavior once it's learned. My daughter found it much easier to urinate in the potty than defecate. So once she was consistently urinating when I put her on the toilet, I backed of on the treats (but always kept the praise.) I began only giving treats when she went voluntarily, or asked to use the potty. These were things I wanted to encourage. Now I don't need anything but praise, because, happily, the nature of potty training is that sooner or later, it becomes rewarding in itself. Keeping things positive, and always letting them know how proud you are, eventually leads to them being proud of themselves. In the end, that's what it's really about. Well, that and getting out of diapers before college.