How to Potty Train an Autistic Child

With the epidemic of autism cases the last several years, many parents have found themselves with a non-verbal child still in diapers and nearing grade school. They are completely clueless how to teach these children how to use the bathroom, and expect (or pray) that one day the autistic child will show interest in the toilet like a 'normal' child (other than to wash it flush repeatedly) and magically train his or herself. The truth is, your child is probably comfortable in his or her diapers and the change of trying to use the potty like mommy or daddy is too stressful to attempt.

I have heard of autistic children in school who are still in diapers at age nine! Let's be honest, even a house-pet who doesn't understand language, can still be taught when and where to use the bathroom. So, why should it be any harder to teach your child (who is so much more important than an animal) these basics, regardless of their communicative skills? Do not underestimate your autistic child's ability to understand you, no matter how withdrawn.

Now, obviously if the child in question does not have the capacity to walk or physically control their limbs or muscles, these tips may not be feasible. Also, every autistic child is different and I can't guarantee it will work or that the results will be immediate. But for the majority, these techniques should at least get you on the right track. What makes me so sure? Well, I am the mother of a boy and a girl who were both diagnosed as autistic at age three who have had communication barriers (the boy has progressed to the point of mild Asperger's Syndrome and the girl has remained almost non-communicative), and were completely potty-trained in a surprisingly rapid manner once I discovered what would really work.

First of all, you need to completely get rid of the diapers. Your child will never understand what you are trying to do if you keep him or her in the comfortable environment of the diaper. At the most, only keep them for a short time at the beginning to use for overnight or long outdoor trips. At first, this may be upsetting to the child and they may attempt to put the diapers back on his or herself (which is a sign he/she is definitely capable of being potty-trained). Consider using absorbent Pull-ups� for a short while to accustom the child to the feel of underwear. But do not use the Pull-ups� for so long that the girl or boy becomes overly-attached to them as they did the diapers.

Next, you need to buy your child several pairs of regular cloth underwear or cloth training underwear and some pairs of plastic underwear covers (similar to cloth diaper covers-to reduce mess from 'accidents', which will be inevitable in this process. Buy some disinfectant and a good bottle of carpet spot cleaner!). Put the underwear and underwear cover on your child while just spending time around the house. Once again, they may be upset with the change, but will eventually get used to it and be thankful for your 'push'. At this stage, you may also want to let them view a parent of sibling of the same sex using the bathroom normally, so they can visually see the process.

Do not rely on regular Pull-ups� to help train your child. The newer potty-training disposables that contain strips that 'alert' or help the child feel the mess may be more acceptable and cleaner, but an autistic child needs to be able to feel the wetness in order to be encouraged to use the toilet and avoid the discomfort. That is why cloth underwear or Feel 'N Learn� disposables are so important to use, and why regular Pull-ups� and diapers will only hinder the process (except in cases where a bathroom is not going to be available to the child at this stage).

If possible, attempt to teach your child a signal to give you or a word to use when the bathroom is needed. In any case, make sure the bathroom is not locked off and is always available for the child to use whether they alert you or not. It may be helpful to leave a hallway light on all night, so the child isn't afraid to get up and use the bathroom at night. When your child gives you the signal for the need to use the bathroom, if you can see they are in the middle of going to the bathroom in their underwear, or even if you discover they've already had an accident-immediately take them to the toilet and sit them down. Even if the child has already gone to the bathroom all the way, sitting them down and helping them wipe will associate the deed with the toilet. Even when the child does not give you the signal to go, it will be helpful to sit him or her on the potty for a moment and going through the motions of wiping before leaving the house/going to bed, or just random times during the day-preferably repeating phrases such as "Poopy in the potty" or "Pee-pee in the potty." In regards to wiping, keeping a supply of flushable wet wipes will help them become more independent. As for the type of toilet, by the time many autistic children are potty-trained they are too big to use a potty chair or seat, so the regular toilet should do just fine.

It may take several accidents and trips to sit on the toilet, but eventually your child will discover that in order to avoid the discomfort of having wet underwear, they need to use the potty. They will discover that you are not giving in to their desire to use Pull-ups� or diapers, and that from now on underwear and the toilet are things that will be a part of their everyday lives. Gradually, they will become more adept at getting to the toilet before they have an accident and will become more independent in the process. Soon, they will be able to completely rid themselves of over-night and travel Pull-ups� and will be able to hold it until they can get to the bathroom. Make sure your child always knows where the bathroom is located when you visit a new place.

It is important that all people who give care to this child know what you are doing, are willing to follow the instructions, and know your child's signal for the bathroom. It is also important that you not get angry at the child for having an accident. My family found this out the hard way, when we became irritated at our son for having accidents. He began holding it until he arrived at his special pre-school, where he promptly exploded his bowels almost daily on the teachers (of whom he knew would not punish him), nearly getting him expelled from the school! Patience and praise is definitely recommended over punishment and anger.

It may seem like a lot of work at first, but potty training your autistic child will make everyone's lives easier in the end and will give them more of an advantage in school. It took my boy a few months or so of daily training and my daughter was trained within a few weeks-so I know it can be done in a relatively short amount of time. Good luck and happy potty-training!