How to Potty Train a Child with Such a Disability and Have it Be Stress Free

At age 2 my daughter was diagnosed with PDDNOS ( Pervasive Developmental Disorder NonSpecific Spectrum). Back in 1997, the top children's hospital in Illinois did not have the proper protocol to evaluate non-verbal children. There were no books, videos and very little resources on how to potty train a child with such a disability and have it be stress free. I had attended a small group in Illinois called "Tuesday's Child", which had group meetings for parents and one therapist working with children with Applied Behavioral Management Training. I found this process to be quite antiquated and traumatic for my child. Being an avid reader of many parenting books, the last thing I wanted to do was force my child on a toilet and yell and scream at her to put the fear of God in her, to "make" her go.

I was terrified, and because of her regressed behaviors, I personally made the decision o not potty train until age 5. I understand the convenience of parent's potty training early. My daughter was so small, underweight and barely eating. We had so many challenges that took priority to resolve over potty training.

I then paid NEARLY $3,000 to attend a weekend intensive workshop of the "Son-Rise" training program held locally in my area. The seminar covered non-traumatic ways through new techniques and diet to mainstream your child back into our shared world and at the same time for it to be a fun and playful process for you both. I made the decision to work on her health first.

I gave her a natural liquid multi-vitamin sold at our local health food store, my goal was to test to see if her focus and concentration would improve with proper vitamin supplementation. If she had no focus or concentration, how could she learn how to potty train? You have to know your priorities. The body can be compared to a car, you need the right kind of fuel for a car to run. If we put the wrong fuel in our tank nothing happens.I am a firm believer in feeding the brain before you train it. It helps make the learning process easier. In a 30 day period of time, I noticed my child becoming more calmer and focused. I researched the ingredients and I found that Calcium Carbonate , Magnesium and Zinc Picolinate combined in a proper dosage, has been attributed to helping focus and concentration.

I faced many behavioral obstacles and challenges. My daughter kept to herself. She was very quiet, she did not speak, or talk. She had only just started to hum some nursery songs. You had to guess if she was hungry, thirsty or wet, just like taking care of an infant. She was afraid of the toilet and afraid to feel the pull of anything coming out of her while sitting on it. I want to encourage all parents of special needs children to respect and acknowledge your children's fears. Work on a strategy to help them overcome their fears in a trauma free way. The best way I have discovered is, creating a fun environment.

I knew one thing. She loved birthday parties. She loved balloons, party streamers, blowing bubbles, birthday cakes and candles. The "Son Rise" program taught me to get into my daughters world. Do what she loves and she would follow me back into my world. We had a small ½ bath and I decided to decorate the bathroom like we were going to have a birthday party. Every time she went to the bathroom, we were going to have the best party. I put 30 helium round balloons and let them remain floating on the ceiling I hung party streamers and the big happy birthday sign. Approximately every two hours, I would attempt to get her to go to the bathroom.

At the outside of the closed bathroom door, I would put on our party hats and open up the door and say "surprise"! Her eyes would be distracted looking up and around at all of the decorations. I would then help her on the toilet. While sitting on the toilet, we would share in blowing bubbles and singing songs. I would let her play with balloons and party favors. After 12 attempts, my daughter used the toilet for the first time. I had a special candle and cupcake ready for the momentous occasion. With tears of joy, belted out the " Happy Birthday" song and we blew out the candle.

After five months, we no longer needed decorations and distractions. We took down everything. She also became comfortable with using public restrooms when going out.

My advice in potty training your autistic child is:
Make it trauma free for you and your child. Make the potty training environment fun and enjoyable. Create fun activities that can be done simultaneously with potty training. Create a reward ( songs, praise, stickers, and/or a healthy treat) when you have a successful potty training session. Do not shame or criticize your child when they do not have a successful attempt, just keep trying and you will get a successful one. I had 12 failures before my first success, what aided the process is lots of love, comfort and emotional support. Do not focus on the failure. Focus on the fun and getting your child to enjoy being comfortable going to the bathroom. Be in the moment with your child.

Do not set up the environment and expect them to lead with their emotions. You need to participate and enjoy the process with your child. Be active, be patient and be observant. Most of all get excited, move around, and show your child how happy you are at their accomplishment. Your job is to make this rewarding.