How to Prepare for Parent Teacher Conferences

Even though school just started, it is not too early to begin thinking about parent teacher conferences. Normally the first parent teacher conferences occur in the month of October (but can vary based on when school started) and schools can have anywhere from two to four conferences per school year. Attending parent teacher conferences is an opportunity to check up on your child's academic, social, and behavioral progress for the first few months of the year as well as preventing any possible issues in the future.

As a former teacher, I have noticed that parents sometimes didn't have the right questions when attending a parent teacher conference and I had to offer answers to questions they didn't expect to hear at a conference. Or they came to parent teacher conferences on the defensive about their child's behavior. Or even worse, they don't come to conferences at all. Conferences can be successful to the parent, student, and teacher as long as the parent knows how to prepare themselves for the conferences.

• Verify the dates and times of the conferences - Most of the time, teachers will send home a note with their students to parents to remind them of parent teacher conferences. However, students don't always give their parents these important documents. Or they were mailed and were either intercepted by someone else or lost in the mail. If you were unable to attend your child's school's open house, call the school as soon as possible to get the date and time of the conferences. Normally, conferences are for two days towards the end of the week and are scheduled during school hours (8:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. for example) and after school hours into the late evenings (1:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m. for example) to accommodate the varying work schedules of parents. If you cannot attend conferences during these dates, call the teacher or administrator to set up an alternate date and time. More often than not, they will be able to stay after school to discuss your child's progress. Also, it shows that you are a responsible and concerned parent and it will be easier to work with those teachers in the future if any problem should arise.

• Discuss the conferences with your child - Let's be honest: sometimes children lie. I did it and I am sure that you did it as well; especially when it comes down to their behavior and class participation. The days of in house detention and erasing and cleaning the chalk boards after school as punishment to correct a situation are long gone. Teachers don't always have time to call or email parents to discuss their student's behavior (unless it makes it impossible to teach others) so sometimes those disruptions can accumulate until conferences. If you give your child a chance to own up to what they have been doing and to express the reasons as to why they have been acting out in class or don't want to participate in group projects; you will have a better opportunity to discuss possible solutions with the teacher for your students without being on the defensive. Getting this information will help you as a parent be better prepared for a more efficient, informative, and useful conference.

• Have your questions and concerns prepared beforehand - Teachers, administrators, social workers and other academic staff are not attending conferences just because they have to. They are there to help you with the concerns and questions that you have regarding your student. Take a little bit of time prior to conferences to jot down a few questions in a notebook or on an index card. Taking the time to write down specific questions and issues will ensure that you aren't wasting the teacher's and your time during conferences.

• Here are a few questions you can ask the teacher during parent teacher conferences - As a former teacher, these are the most common questions that I would expect a parent to ask me during conferences. They are very general questions but can be modified based on your student's needs:

• What is the student's attendance like? - Coming to class late or skipping class can go unnoticed by parents if they do not receive phone calls from the teacher or notes in the mail.

• How are the student's test scores so far?

• What is the student's behavior like? - Is the student talkative, quiet, shy, uncooperative, unruly, etc?

• What is the student having the most difficulty accomplishing in class? - This can vary based on the class, but more often than not the teacher will be willing to pull out the student's portfolio and go over what the student is having trouble with.

• What can I do to help the student improve? - Teachers adore this question. If your child has minor problems with longitude and latitude for example, the teacher can offer you worksheets, websites, and additional material to help your student better understand the concept while at home.

Parent teacher conferences can either be good or bad. There can be miscommunication between everyone involved and nothing can be solved or parents can be prepared in order to make the school year better for their child and themselves.