How to Prepare for Writing a Short Story: Create a Little Slice of Heaven on Your Page

I love stories. I love things that are short. I am pretty normal. So by using some basic algebra or arithmetic (which it is I have no idea because I was never very good at math) you will most certainly arrive at the conclusion that everyone loves short stories. What's not to love? For those of us who are challenged by being ever attentive, they are great ways to communicate and narrative a can help you achieve the status of writer.
If you follow the advice given in this how-to article, you will make a great story. Listed are some great tips on what you'll need to make your writing more effective and maybe a little more fun. They may not help you with your craft, I'm sorry about that, but they sure will make you cooler.

Pen and Paper or a Typewriter

First of all, you absolutely must use a pen and paper or a typewriter. Yes, that does mean that you paid a thousand dollars for a computer that you should never use, especially for writing. Go ahead and throw your computer out of the window. Pen and paper/typewriter will give you the feeling of actually creating something. You will feel like God, and maybe get a little body high. If you prefer a typewriter and want an extra little challenge, try getting an old one with a broken key and writing a story without using that letter. Besides, computers are so sterile and I don't know about you, but they hurt my eyes.

Cowboy Hat

This one is crucial. If you didn't throw your computer out of the window, you have to at least buy a cowboy hat. The bigger, the better is the manifesto here. This will make you look really kitschy and a lot like Don Imus. Even though he has been in trouble lately, before that he was so amazingly cool. Think Brad Pitt in that movie about Jesse James, that's how cool you'll be. When you write your first hit story, you'll need to look good for the press.

Empty Room

Maybe empty room is not the right heading, but it looks better than slightly empty room. For this to work you need a room, preferably with white walls, that locks from the inside. Try your hardest to have the room only contain a bed, desk and lamp. This is the room you will write in. Take two weeks off of work, hopefully you're already unemployed because it makes being a writer even more fun, and lock yourself in this area. Of course, you'll need supplies, so here is a comprehensive list of what to bring into your writing space:

1 Carton of Cigarettes, not cloves (They just suck.)
1 Gallon of Rum
10 black or blue pens (See above.)
1 typewriter (See above.)
5 80-page notebooks
1 Bean Bag Chair (There's no reason why you shouldn't be comfy.)
1 poster of your favorite writer (Preferably a beat writer.)
14 packages of Ramen Noodles (You will only need to eat once a day.)
5 gallons of water

Hopefully, if you do this right and with any luck, this setting will cause you to go crazy, and you will most likely write great stories. If two weeks is up and you still haven't written at least 10 stories, keep yourself in the room. Maybe you'll run out of food. That is only a plus, because you may or may not become even crazier. Use your discretion.

If you follow this advice, you may or may not write a good story, no guarantees. Hey, in the end, either way, you'll have a great story to tell.