How to Procrastinate like a Pro

So you have a really big project that needs done and you really don't want to do it. Maybe it's your big research paper that's worth half your grade. Maybe it's that Powerpoint presentation that your boss asked you to put together for tomorrow's meeting. Or maybe it's something as basic as that big pile of laundry that's been sitting on the floor for about a week. Whatever it is that you've been putting off, you can be a more effective procrastinator (and have more fun) by following these tips.

Procrastinator's secret #1: "Just five more minutes"

No matter what it is, tell yourself that you'll get to it in five more minutes. Then when the five minutes is up, take another five. You get the picture. Another alternative is to insist that the clock be on a "five" time when you start the project. Let me explain: it's 2:41, so you say you'll get started at 2:45. But you get wrapped up in what you're doing, and the next time you look at the clock is 2:46. Well, now you have to wait until 2:50. See how that works? The time has to be a multiple of five. This could go on for hours until you accidentally look at the clock on a five time. Then apply the five more minutes rule, and you're back in business!

Procrastinator's secret #2: The internet is your friend

The internet is full of procrastination tools - use them. Get yourself a Myspace or a blog of some sort, and update it frequently. The best ones will allow you to fully customize your layout. You can learn HTML and really rock out your profile/blog, which will not only get you compliments from your friends but also gives you a handy excuse to spend more time on the computer. Online discussion groups are also a fantastic way to procrastinate. Find one with some lively discussions that are sure to suck you in.

Procrastinator's secret #3: Television reruns

Reruns are a procrastinator's best friend. Chances are, you've seen these episodes at least twenty times already, but that doesn't matter. In fact, that's better than if you've never seen them before. (This is why you do reruns instead of new shows.) If you've seen them before, you already know you like them, so you know that it'll be worth your time to watch. New shows might not be as good.

Procrastinator's secret #4: Movies on television

A movie on television takes at least half an hour longer than the same movie on DVD. Why? Commercials. Don't buy or rent a DVD if you're trying to procrastinate... you'll lose half an hour of precious procrastinating time.

Procrastinator's secret #5: Take a nap

Simple, but effective. And don't set an alarm. You might end up sleeping too long, which will make you groggy when you wake up. Embrace this grogginess. After all, you can't concentrate when your mind is all fogged up like that, can you? This is a great thing for any would-be procrastinator.

Procrastinator's secret #6: Start a different, less important project

When all else fails and you start feeling as though you really should get something done, this is the time to get working on those projects that really aren't important. Rearrange your CDs according to release date. Pull all your dishes out of the kitchen cabinets and reorganize them. Do anything except the actual project you're supposed to be working on. You'll feel more productive without actually meeting your goals. This is possibly one of the most effective tools in the procrastinator's tool belt. (Why do you think I'm writing this article? I should be cleaning the kitchen!)

It's really not that difficult to become a master procrastinator. Just follow these guidelines, and you'll soon be wasting time like a pro!