How Should I Propose? Tips for a Man Who is Ready to Pop the Question

PolyQ
A marriage proposal is one of those pivotal moments in a person's life, both for the man and the woman, and therefore, a marriage proposal should be memorable for both, and in a good way! Of course, the expectation is that when a man pops the question, his lady will say yes, and that alone is memorable enough, but this article will discuss some of the more creative ways men can propose and make it a memorable and romantic occasion.

Of course, it would be remiss not to mention that it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to propose too, but since this is not necessarily the norm, this article will focus mostly on the man proposing to the woman, but for the most part, many of these suggestions will hold true for either men or women who choose to propose.

In this article, we are going to assume that you have already thought about the practical aspects of a marriage proposal, such as whether or not you and your partner are compatible for life and love, if you both are moving in the same direction, whether or not you both want children, and other mundane life things that must be taken into consideration. Additionally, we are also going to assume that you truly love your partner and she loves you, and that you are actually ready to marry and spend the rest of your life together before you propose.

If all these things are taken care of, now you are ready to go about the 'how' of proposing. Let's look at some suggestions below.

Romance

A marriage proposal should be romantic, but what your definition of romance is compared to hers might be two different things. While you are the one asking the question, and you have probably put a lot of thought into the proposal itself, she is the one who has probably dreamed of this day her entire life - and it's up to you to make it as romantic for her as possible! Of course, no pressure or anything.

Remember, while it is your marriage proposal too, she will be the one who is on the phone calling her family and friends and telling everyone, including your children in the future, how her husband proposed marriage, and if it was just a quick, "Hey, let's get hitched" after a roll in the sack, she may act like she's excited, but this is not the romantic moment she would have liked.

A marriage proposal should be accompanied by a declaration of love, faith, trust and commitment to your partner. Where you ask her is not nearly as important as what you say when you do ask her. Reassure her of your love and commitment to the relationship, and show that the proposal is a manifestation of your true desire to spend the rest of your life with her, and her alone. This is the romance she will need to give you that "yes" you are hoping for with your proposal.

Memorable

That brings us to the next point, while a proposal should be romantic, romance alone is not the only thing she will remember. At first, immediately after the proposal, she will remember nothing but her feelings at the moment she heard, "Will you marry me?"

But soon after, when she tells the story over and over to her friends and family, she will begin to remember the details, and the more memorable your proposal is, the more details she will be able to remember and share.

You really don't have to go all out or go into debt, but it is important to make your proposal something out of the ordinary. That is, you want to make it a special day, not just any ordinary day. Even if you both have talked about marriage and have agreed to get married, you should still actually officially propose to your woman, your future wife, and a trip to McDonald's isn't going to be the type of 'memorable' you are looking for.

If you have a special place where you first met, you might consider taking her there to propose and take a walk down memory lane and talk about how you first met before you propose. If there is a fancy restaurant you know she's always wanted to check out but you two haven't made it there yet, take her there and propose in the restaurant.

Make It About Her

Sure, it's your proposal too, and sure, you are going to be getting married too, and perhaps it's a bit old fashioned to think this way, and as a woman, far be it from me to say that a marriage proposal should be all about the woman, but there are really only three days that are this big in a woman's life... her proposal day, her wedding day, and the day her children are born.

It's great if you love to go fishing, but unless she truly loves fishing herself, proposing to her on a fishing boat is probably not a good idea. It's great if you love basketball, but proposing to her on the basketball court's marquis is not the best proposal unless she too is a basketball fan.

A proposal should be memorable for both of you, and it should be about both of you, but you want your future wife to feel as though she is what really matters to you and make this proposal all about her.

Of course, that doesn't mean you can't pick a location or activity that is pleasurable to you both.

Traditional?

Contrary to popular belief, not every woman wants a man to get down on one knee and ask for her hand in marriage and then give her a ring. This is great, and it is very traditional, but you should really take a look at your relationship and your future wife and decide whether or not the two of you are a 'traditional' couple. If you're not, then go for something a bit less traditional.

Hot air balloon rides, picnics in the park, a special concert or serenade, writing in the sky, a ring in a fortune cookie, and the list goes on and on of all the non-traditional proposals you can try - but keep in mind, sometimes the best laid plans fall apart, so don't try too hard to make the proposal perfectly timed or put too much pressure on yourself to make things 'perfect'.

Remember, sometimes a simple, "I love you. Will you marry me?" is enough, when the emotions are truly heartfelt. She will remember more what you say and how you look at her than she will the things you plan and do that day.

One Last Word of Advice

It is possible no matter how many plans you make or how well organized you think your proposal will be, things do happen. You can lose the ring, spill a drink, have spinach in your teeth, hurt your knee on the floor - it won't matter in the end, and years from now, when you and your wife share your proposal story with your children, you will find that sometimes when things don't go perfectly, that is when a proposal is the most memorable... and remember, that is where we started this article - make your proposal memorable!

Good luck and congratulations on your decision to propose!

Published by PolyQ

PolyQ writes about love, relationships, sex, marriage, intimacy, alternative lifestyles, and traditional relationships too!  View profile

  • Sometimes when things don't go exactly as planned, your proposal will be even more memorable.
  • Don't stress over your proposal, because if you truly love her, that's all she will care about.
  • Remember, a marriage proposal should only come when you are truly ready to share the rest of your life with someone.

1 Comments

Post a Comment
  • Mark Stamos1/9/2007

    If you are looking for specific ideas for popping the question, I think Michael Webb's ebook -- The Romantic's Guide to Popping the Question cant be beat. The ideas are superb.

To comment, please sign in to your Yahoo! account, or sign up for a new account.