How to Provide Emotional Support to Your Unemployed Husband

Almost all marriages have some sort of problems. Arguing and stress are common in many marriages. Most conflicts can be solved by eliminating the problem. If one spouse doesn't clean, the other spouse can do the cleaning. If one spouse talks on the phone too much the other spouse can unplug the phone. Unemployment is something no one has control over and can bring a lot of stress to marriages.

The current unemployment rate in California is 12.4%. Nationwide the unemployment rate is 9.7%. Most men tend to get very depressed and develop low self esteem during time of unemployment. Many men are raised to believe that they have to be the head of the household and provide for the family. Most men feel that the main way they provide to the family is by bringing home the paycheck. When your husband loses his job he may feel useless and feel that he has nothing to contribute to the family.

As soon as he gets the bad news

When you husband first finds out that he lost his job he might be upset or in denial. Try to cheer up your husband by suggesting you go to his favorite restaurant. Buy some flowers to brighten up the house. Make his favorite dessert. Do something small that makes him happy. Now is not the time to talk about how it's going to be so tough to pay the monthly bills. This is important, but now is not the time to bring up these important issues. Right now focus on lifting your husband's spirits for the time being.

Don't nag

Your husband is probably under a lot of stress so try not to take his bad mood personally. He may be a little more irritable, but this will pass. Give him space and don't nag him. Just because he is home now it's not the time to tell him about all the little things that need to be fixed in the house. Don't expect to have a spotless house because your husband is home all day. After a little time you may bring up that he do a few chores around the house, but don't expect him to do everything. His main focus should be to find a new job.

Offer help, but don't give too many suggestions

Your husband may already feels like he's failed and doesn't need you to tell him what he is doing wrong. Bookmark job websites, but don't tell him to turn off the TV and go look for a job. If he asks for your help, give help, but don't criticize his resume or job search techniques. Be gentle in your words. It's not easy to look for a new job in this tough economy and he can take your advise the wrong way and think that you are more of an expert than he is in the job search process.

Tell him that you will support him in anything he needs. Tell him that if he needs anything then just ask. When he does ask for help follow through and give him the help he asks for. Many men have trouble asking for help and it's very brave of him to ask you for help.

Look at your budget and cut back some

Do you get Starbucks coffee every morning? Do you get your nails done every two weeks? Even though your husband may be receiving unemployment benefits it may not be enough to meet your monthly budget. Try to find little things you can cut out to save money monthly. Your husband will appreciate the fact that you are cutting some things for the benefit of the family.

Making delicious home cooked will also save a lot of money. In addition, you and your husband can reconnect during dinner time again. Cooking at home not only saves money, but is also often healthier.

Reconnect with each other

Take this time to reconnect with each other. You will be seeing your husband around the house a lot more, so enjoy this time together. Make coffee at home and sit outside each morning drinking coffee and enjoying each others company. If you work leave a little love note for your husband. Tell him how much you love him.

At the end of the day, don't ask "What did you do today?" or "How was your day?" because most likely he didn't have a very good day and he spent his day looking for a job, again. Instead talk about happy memories. Talk about your children or pets.

Remind your husband why you love him. Make him feel that money is not the only thing he contributes to the family. Does he have a good sense of humor and make you laugh? Is he a great father? If you let him know that he contributes a lot to the family besides financially it might boost his spirits a little.

Be patient

It might take a while for him to find a new job. Try to be patient and think positively. Remind him of his good skills he has and remind him that it's not his fault that he lost his job. Eventually he will get a new job and this will be a time of celebration. Your marriage can survive unemployment.