How to Quit Smoking: The Drag and Struggle

My dirty little secret: I love to smoke. I love the smell, the taste, the feel of the cigarette between my fingers, even the taboo of it all. And yet, I have not had a drag since August 2005. I haven't always been a successful quitter. My husband can attest to many tears and tantrums. Yes, I have been called a princess a time or two.

Honesty is crucial for success with any personal change. So go ahead, wallow in all you love about smoking! Allow me to reminisce about spicy bloody Mary's on sweltering afternoons. Strong, hot coffee in the morning before speaking to a soul. Marathon girlfriend calls. Driving fast, rockin' out. Road trips. That wee bit of room a cigarette makes after stuffing yourself. These were some of my favorite things.
Although the choice to quit was mine, it has been a long hard battle.

The war raged between addiction, which I admittedly embraced, and my desire to quit. I could list all the reasons I needed to quit, so unfortunately could everyone else. No matter how compelling the reasons, how sound the evidence, quitting wasn't a one time, make-up my mind effort for me. I tried many times, using many methods.

I tried the gum-no go. Maybe this princess is more sensitive than others, but I had some concerns about those side effects. I found the gum to be harsh. The taste was awful. But worst for me was the burning of my throat. Hard to stick to a quit plan when smoking caused me less discomfort than the remedy. I tried this method because I like gum. I would chew trying to ease my cravings and not swallow the liquid fire contained in my saliva. I needed a more comfortable plan.

I did have a bit more success with two other methods. Though I did not quit with finality using either method, I could see the strong possibility for success.

Patches, seemed easy enough and the warnings were enough to scare me from smoking while wearing those things. I could always say to myself, "I could take this off and have a smoke, but is it worth waiting the HOURS it would take to safely have a cigarette?" Effective, but alas the side effects. Princess skin. Those patches were powerful enough to curb the physical cravings, but were harsh on the skin. I needed help to place them in unused areas less likely to be sensitive by the end of my treatment. I never completed a full cycle. I was happy to stop burning and ripping my skin at the end of each box. I am using plural because although I had side effects and complaints, these really do help curb your cravings. I tried this method with darn good results twice. I also ended up only wearing them while awake. Aside from the physical irritant there were some sleep issues. When I was able to block out the itchy, burn and fall asleep my dreams were bizarre.

The third method I tried was a prescription. This was very interesting as I was using the prescription for something else and ended up cutting down on my smoking. I found myself surprised at scheduled smoking times instead of running for the nearest exit. I liked the ease with which I felt I could quit. This took a short amount of time to be effective. I took the prescription for only one month. I gave up the prescription due to hives. Some medications take a period of time to build up in your system and become fully effective. Truth is there is a break down time in your system too. One month on prescription, one month on hive antidote, every four hours. Not easily forgotten. These medications, like most come with warnings and side effects.

Wondering how I did quit? A really simple answer would be pregnancy. The most compelling reason to not smoke was the life I was responsible for nurturing and protecting. I am not advocating having children to stop smoking. Truthfully, I wish I had quit before becoming pregnant. I was consumed by guilt, worried for my child, and I still craved cigarettes. My doctor at the time assured me the baby was fine. I had time to wean myself. I tried cutting down for approximately one week.

The following is what has worked for me. Cold turkey, why prolong the torture? Supportive friends and family who listened patiently as I whined. Mantras, such as, "I am a cigarette away from a pack a day." Time. It was a grieving process, first denial, anger, and so on. Allow yourself to go through this process, as painful as it is, on the other side is strength, pride, health.

The total process may never be fully over, but as I write this two and a half years later I am much more at ease with the cravings. Obviously smoking is personal and emotional for me. I can not believe I was more addicted than anyone else. Nor can I believe I am special enough to have accomplished the impossible. Most days are easier than the last. I am faced with my two beautiful reasons everyday. For me the final step in my own journey was coming back to my faith. Once submerged in my belief of God's love and forgiveness I was able to ask for His grace in my struggle. This was the most important step. His grace has given me the strength to let go of my addiction and move forward.

Do not allow others to say things to bring you down. Yes, you may crave a smoke from time to time. But that incessant gnawing need to smoke will ease. You may even find yourself being harsh to the still smoking. Please remember, we are all human and susceptible to individual weakness. I do not mean to sound as if I am without fault. Bless my patient husband for bringing me back down to reality when I would "go off" about someone smoking in the car with kids.

You can not quit, too - soon. You will struggle. You can succeed.