How to Raise a Responsible Adolescent

In order to become productive and happy adults, children need to learn how to take responsibility for their actions and follow through on commitments. The home is one of the best places for teaching responsibility and preparing children for the future. Teaching this trait requires a conscious and continuous effort from everyone who is involved in the child's life, parents, grandparents, siblings, teachers, peers, coaches and others. Here are some guidelines to help you teach your children about responsibility and solve problems at home or school. These facts are aimed at young people between the ages of 10 and 18 - the tweens and teens.

Gradually letting go - If you continue to solve your child's problems or make her decisions for her, it makes it more difficult for your child to become a responsible adult. Instead, start letting go and let your child take responsibility and solve his/her own problems. This helps prepare your child for adulthood; living on her own and making decisions.

Long-term parenting - The kind of parenting that gets young people to do what you want in the short term (nagging, bossing, threats and punishment) doesn't usually teach long-term goals such as responsibility and maturity. Long-term parenting takes time and may not appear to be working at first. However, young people gradually develop responsibility and the ability to think for themselves. Here are some ways to practice long-term parenting:

-Share feelings with your children and help young people learn from their mistakes. Listen to them respectfully and show an interest in your child's input in setting rules, consequences and solving problems.

-Joint problem solving is where parents involve their child to brainstorm solutions. This is a good way to teach responsibility and how to make decisions. Situations such as household chores, homework, peers, schedules, even fighting with brothers and sisters. These are the five steps to use: describe the problem, tell how you feel about the situation (both parent and child), brainstorm possible solutions, try a solution, and select a time to check back to see if the solution is working.

Follow through - Your child will not always keep her end of a bargain, especially if peer pressure changes priorities. Instead of lecturing, use a one-word 'agreement'. Some parents do not use words at all; a look, a smile, a raised eyebrow, or pointing to a dropped object on the floor or to an unread book is enough. Retain dignity and respect for yourself by following through, instead of giving up and letting your child do whatever she wants. At the same time, be respectful of your child, knowing that she will often resist. In some situations it may help to write down the agreement not as a threat but as a record. Schedule a meeting where you and your child can re-evaluate the situation.

Follow these tips to successful adolescent parenting for happy and healthy teen years.