How to Rant Without Losing Control

Opinions. Everyone has them; just as everyone has that certain orifice and we, of course, think that ours is the only one that doesn't stink (the orifice and the opinion). But in this information age where everyone has an outlet to talk, discuss, spiel, and rant about any topic imaginable we find ourselves constantly bombarded by others opinions and rants that frequently conflict with our own views on things.

For a great many, the conflict does not arise because the author said something offensive. Should offensive exchanges happen one simply stops arguing with the author, stops visiting their website, or hits the Ignore button popular on forums. The conflict arises more often than not because of the authors complete lack of forethought before posting their blurb. They are in "the heat of the moment" and post about this or that without thinking, with out backing their piece up with facts, and often without hitting the spell check button. This possibly irritates people the most.

So in the interest of preventing this conflict (and allowing room for genuine conflicts), here are a handy set of guidelines that one should follow before they start tearing into a topic and possibly (probably) embarrassing themselves.

Think Before You Post

If you are excited, nervous, or angry about something, that is fine. If you are near a computer you may be tempted to pull up a forum or blog and start ripping into the object of you emotional state. This is when you should stop and take a moment to collect you thoughts.

You have a right to your feelings, but the first few minutes of your wrangled emotional state are the most idiocy prone. Take a minute to breathe and calm down. After a few minutes, you will still feel the way you did before, but you will be able to think a little more clearly.

There now, isn't that better? Still feel like ranting about something? That's perfectly fine because at least you are thinking somewhat straighter now.

Be Concise, Correct, and Contained

Lets say you are angry. Really angry. Angrier than a wet cat on bath day. That's perfectly fine. Go ahead and start you ranting. But its important to stay on topic. Too often you start ranting about something and that leads to another thing, and another, and so on. Stay focused. You are supposed to be venting your anger about the object of said emotion, not about the price of gas, the bleach stain on your shirt, or the rude woman at the coffee house. Contain your rant about the source of it and they will read it. Start going off about everything and they will read something else.

Getting to the point is also paramount to a good rant. Explaining the situation that lead to this thing is all well and good, but don't write a novel describing you life experiences. Being concise in your background and topic is key as no one wants to spend 3 hours reading about event from your 3^rd grade teacher to your breakfast that morning.

Be correct. This is not at all related to your rant in general. You can have the absolutely wrong view of things and it will be alright. But please, when you are typing your rant, make sure that your spelling and grammar are correct and legible. For instance, making a sentence that takes up and entire half page and is filled with misspellings will turn your readers and potential sympathizers away faster than a power outage. If you must, use a word processor to type your rant and then paste it into your message or blog. If your blog has spell check, use it. Quite simply, don't embarrass yourself because you didn't spell "whereabouts" correctly.

Just the facts, please

If, in your ranting, you are quote other people or making reference to facts or figures, take the time to make sure they are correct. Is that really what that famous author said? Can you actually put that there? Did they actually find the body?

It is quite bothersome when reading to find factual error and miss-quoted lines; and downright irritating when you repeat them again and again in your responses. If someone shows you the correct fact, take it into consideration before you blindly disregard it and the respondent as being "dumb". Do a quick search and see if they are right. Read the paper, check the book, watch the News at 11; just don't blow it off. If someone is saying you are incorrect, they may be right.

On the flip side of that, if you are in deed correct, don't blow it in the respondent's face and walk away. Present your rebuttal with the facts you just gathered in a courteous, concise way. No insults or jibes necessary. Just tell them you found this article or saw this that proves you're correct.

Don't be afraid to stand your ground if you are right, but don't be a dingle-berry about being wrong.

And now, you're done

After following the above guidelines, your rants will be better, and you will be better for it. You can state your opinion or heated viewpoint in such a way as to invite meaningful discussion instead of useless one-word responses and ridiculous acronyms.

For in a world of ever increasing information, where every scrap of data is recorded and cataloged for the entire population to access, effective ranting will prove to the world that your opinion does matter and, if you rant well enough, that you actually are right.