How to Rate a Fall

We all fall at one time or another but seldom do we take the time to look at the act of falling as anything other than a painful experience. Take heart there is a lot more to falling down than you might imagine. It is usually a painful experience as we all know but with the right group of spectators you can be destined to take your place in history. Some people have done such a good job that they are talked about for years and have achieved more fame than they could ever have imagined. Read on as I delve into the aspects of the common fall and just how complex the system of scoring points can be.

Let's examine the different types of falls, how they are accomplished and the unique styles we exhibit while falling. Just to fall down is not enough no one just falls down, oh no, it just isn't that simple. Think about it, there are as many different kinds of falls as there are people willing to participate in the act. What would seem to some, as an act of simplicity is in fact far more complex than one could imagine.

First let's examine the straight slip and fall, or so it would seem. Strict attention has to be maintained while watching the subject in the act of falling. The first consideration will be to the individual style of the participating dupe as he/she launches into the demonstration. First one foot will loose contact with the surface and slide in a direction that is not intended by the victim. Now is the time for him/her to go for maximum points by flailing of arms along with forward and backward jerky movements all the while screaming or cursing. The longer one can maintain an upright position while on the brink of certain disaster, the more points to be made. Some people have been known to be able to keep this up for much longer than one would expect and usually the final act is followed either by a loud cheer or just plain applause. These select individuals are destine to score high and will be talked about for years to come. To think all this notoriety just for falling down, with an audience on hand to never let the event pass without being recorded. On the other hand what if this event happened and no one was there to observe, think how sad the participant would be to have gone through all this drama without an audience.

One of the most interesting types of falls is the stepping off into space forward flip, this can be accomplished with just a once over somersault but it is much more entertaining if other actions are combined. The only limiting factor of the performance is in the ability exhibited by the participants combined with the height of the launch point. Given enough launch height and a willingness to perform the possibilities are limitless. When first stepping off into space it is a good idea to keep close watch on the face of the performer as he/she goes through different looks of fear and sheer terror while coming to the realization that nothing they do is going to save them. It is now time for the performer to take advantage of the situation and put a good effort into combining gymnastics, facial expression and sheer terror to complete an award winning performance. Crowds have been known to go wild observing some truly outstanding acrobatics preformed in this fall.

Now let's take a look at the stumbling fall. This fall is accomplished by the performer tripping over an object and then trying to catch their balance as they run head long bent over in a feeble attempt to get their feet under them while their nose is less than an inch from the ground. This action seldom ever works but it adds a certain amount of suspense as the luckless performer gains speed only to crash in the end. In all cases it would have been a lot better to just fall down when they first tripped but that simply would not elect a favorable response from the gathered masses. The slip and fall is an interesting thing to see if done with the proper amount of screaming while maintaining a total look of abject boredom. This should never be attempted by someone that is not a regular participant as it takes years of practice to be able to hold the correct facial expression while watching your feet go higher in the air than your head. The truly accomplished professional has been known to actually flip completely over and come down on their stomach, a feet few can lay claim to.

The slip and fall combined with the recovery bounce, is a sight to behold and a feet that requires extraordinary reflexes. The performer first looses his/her footing and goes down fast with little time to ham it up for the crowd possibly leading to a low score but with a little practice and ingenuity all doesn't have to be lost. When the performer goes down hard and lands in a sitting position the proper thing to do is spring right back up in one motion to a semi standing position and take off on a dead run bent over until they totally loose it and fall again. Going at a good speed by the time they do fall it will be easy to pitch forward into a forward somersault ending up sprawled out flat on their back. This feet preformed with the proper amount of verbalizing is sure to get a lot of points and cheers from the audience.

Last but by far not least is the collision fall. This fall has numerous opportunities for pleasing any audience. The first step is to run head long into something that will not give when hit by the human anatomy. When the first contact is made between human and immovable object it must remembered to scream out some obscene comment that will get everyone's attention before going into stage two of the act. Now that the attention of the gathered spectators is focused it's time to complete the act. The part of your head that has been impacted in the collision must be held with one hand while staggering around in circles with the other hand reaching out for things that aren't there. If by chance something else is crashed into while doing this all the better. Respect and points can be gained by careening off different objects while staggering around blindly all the while keeping at least one hand on the original spot of impact. I have seen people laugh so hard at this type of fall that they injured themselves too.

More on falls to be written as the saga continues.