How Do You Rate with the List by Popular Mechanics of What Men Need to Know?

The magazine Popular Mechanics just released its list of "25 Skills Every Man Should Know". Since I am neither popular nor a mechanic, I found this list very curious. Here's their list, with my comments to follow.

1. Patch a radiator hose: I'm in my third decade of driving and have never once wished I knew how to do this. I'm floored that this is the number-one item on their list.

2. Protect your computer: I'm thrilled that I'm not going to have to reach the 20s before we come across an item on the list that I both know how to do and have done in my life. I can feel the testosterone raging through me right now!

3. Rescue a boater who has capsized: Do I need to drag him to shore? Or does it count if I just help him hang on to the boat until the Coast Guard arrives? How many people have actually done this in their lives?

4. Frame a wall: I could see this being a handy skill to have as I embark in my next life as a house flipper.

5. Retouch digital photos: Somehow I can't see this being one of the things that the giant beer can drops on the guy for being too wussy to do in that "Milwaukee's Best" series of commercials.

6. Back up a trailer: I don't live in a trailer, I don't haul things in a trailer and it's one of my goals in life to keep things that way.

7. Build a campfire: Finally, something that my past life as a juvenile delinquent has properly prepared me for!

8. Fix a dead outlet: I've never done this in my life, but if somehow the need arose, I'd pull down my "Reader's Digest How to Fix Anything Manual" and give it a whirl.

9. Navigate with a map and compass: Maps of all sizes fascinate me. One day I want to have one of those three-foot high globes in my reading room. And in the pre-GPS days, I always wanted one of those $1.99 compasses attached to my dashboard.

10. Use a torque wrench: I had no idea what a torque wrench was so I looked it up. It doesn't seem like rocket science, although I wouldn't blame you if you didn't completely trust whatever bolt I attached with this device.

11. Sharpen a knife: One year when half the family was sick and the other half didn't show up, I got to carve the Thanksgiving Turkey in our house. It may not sound like much to you, but as the youngest child of eight, it was a pretty big deal to me.

12. Perform CPR: The best item on this list so far. I'm certified but have never needed to use it in real life.

13. Fillet a fish: I've never had the Fillet 'O Fish at McDonald's and have no desire to start now.

14. Maneuver a car out of a skid: Unfortunately, I've done this in my life. Mostly I've been successful but there was nothing I could do that night I was rear-ended on Interstate 93 and ended up slamming into the retaining wall.

15. Get a car unstuck Wouldn't the manly thing to do be not get the car stuck in the first place?

16. Back up data: I appreciate Popular Mechanics trying to include computer tasks as manly things, but isn't this the equivalent of putting gas in the car?

17. Paint a room: When I was in high school, I helped paint a rival school's rock (it was some kind of big deal to them, don't ask) the color of our school. It was by far the best painting experience of my life.

18. Mix concrete: While I've never done this, I used to mix up a great batch of pot brownies back in the day.

19. Clean a bolt-action rifle: I only use self-cleaning AK-47s, myself.

20. Change oil and filter: I agree with this and I'm going to do it before I die. I'm even going to properly dispose of the oil and not just dump it in the backyard or on the street.

21. Hook up an HDTV: As soon as I buy an HDTV, I will hook it up. And that's a promise.

22. Bleed brakes: I believe we all need someone we can bleed on, but I see no reason to learn to bleed brakes.

23. Paddle a canoe: Love many, trust few. And always paddle your own canoe.

24. Fix a bike flat: Ever get the feeling Popular Mechanics was really reaching to come up with 25 things?

25. Extend your wireless network: I wish this hadn't beaten out their other choice, which was to be able to unhook a wireless bra with your teeth.

One of the things that I enjoy about being a man is that, unlike women, our magazines don't try to make us feel bad about ourselves. Our magazines show pretty girls, muscle cars and bone-crunching tackles. And that's why this list by Popular Mechanics is so disappointing. It broke the code.

The things I need to know as a man as a stay-at-home dad and freelance writer are completely different than the things my brother needs to know as a man without kids who grows his own food. Although I bet Dennis knew all 25 on this list.