How to Read Body Language Signals

Even if you never utter a single word, your body and face are continuously sending out messages to those around you about your present mood. Some experts who study body language report that about 93% of our messages are conveyed through our body language! The remaining 7% are communicated through our words, a small portion of our communications process!

Most messages are communicated through facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language. During our lives we send out messages to those around us through our expressions, gestures, posture, how we sit, and how we speak. What you say does not matter near as much as how you say it. In fact, the true meaning of anything we say is determined based on our body language! As others read our body language, likewise we react and read the body language of others, even if you are not aware of doing so.

What type of messages do our body language convey to others? Does it encourage people to approach you, or does it frighten them away? Do you typically stand with your arms folded in front of you, and do you suppose that this stance will encourage people to speak with you? Most individuals would interpret crossed arms with a closed, perhaps annoyed mood. They will avoid approaching you if they see this body language signal, even if your true meaning is nothing of the sort. Only the bravest people will come forward or even smile in your direction!

Regardless of how much you may want somebody to come over to you or befriend you, if your projected body language expresses disinterest or awkwardness around others, it is highly unlikely that people will attempt to engage you in conversation.

If you convey body language signals that frighten others away, could there also be signals which encourage them to approach you? The answer is a resounding yes! There are certain measures and mannerisms you can adopt to increase your body language perception, conveying that you are non-threatening, approachable, and open to others. You can try practicing these body signal gestures in your own home and in front of a mirror until you can easily project the appearance of someone who is approachable, confident, and friendly.

No matter if you are standing or sitting, try for a posture which is alert and upright, yet relaxed. If you notice your shoulders or chest are in a slumped position, straighten up!

Be aware of how you are breathing. Do your breaths move through your lungs smoothly? Or, do they move with little jerky starts and stops? If you notice yourself breathing in a jerky way, or holding your breath, these may be signs of anxiety. If your breath is shallow, utilizing the upper portion of your lungs, you are not breathing in enough air.

When you breath is shallow, you have to breathe more often, increasing your appearance of anxiety or nervousness. Use your gut to help you breathe in a deeper, smoother, relaxed manner. Allow the bottom of your lungs to completely fill with air while practicing your body language skills.

Where are your hands? What are you doing with them? If you are nervous, especially when in public, you may find that anything you do with your hands seems to be the wrong thing. A lot of people to cross their arms in front of themselves are often doing so because they don't know what else to do with their hands that would be acceptable.

Try to avoid crossing your arms unless you really prefer to be left alone. Crossing your arms conveys the signal that you are unapproachable or would react unpleasantly to anyone who approaches. If you would prefer to appear more approachable or open, let your arms rest at your sides, or allow one hand to rest in your pocket. Do not put both hands in your pockets, however, as this will also convey an unsatisfactory body language signal. You can also choose to hold something in one of your hands while allowing the other to rest at your side. Holding your arm or hand in front of your torso can send a signal that you prefer to defend yourself from any approaches.

Remain focused and aware of your surroundings and those around you. When you find yourself tuning out, you will tend to focus inward toward your negative thoughts or sensations. Tuning out will also prevent you from reacting appropriately and invitingly when someone attempts to speak to you.

How should your facial expressions appear when you prefer to be approached? In the majority of cases, a soft, pleasant, gentle smile will do the trick. A huge smile can look nervous or forced, while a smile that never seems to soften will appear fake. Pleasant smiles with a slight upward turn of the corners of your mouth, will convey the message that chatting with you would be a pleasant experience.