How to Reclaim Your Life After Abuse

Anyone who has been abused physically, emotionally, or verbally will tell you that it is easy to live life as a victim. Like a wounded bird, it is easy to flail around, fearful of which way to fly. Sometimes it is difficult to try to fly at all. Living in a cage seems to be the best way to avoid more pain.

Living your life as a victim is no way to live. Your life becomes inhibited. You shut down the parts of yourself that are genuinely you. Your goals will be thwarted because you stop trying to achieve your dreams. You may find yourself entering into relationship after relationship that is unhealthy and abusive. Your self-esteem remains low because somewhere deep inside you have made up your mind that your abuser was right. You are worthless. You are incapable. You are undeserving.

You continue to let your abuser have control. Whether your abuse happened as a child or as an adult, you allow that abuse to continue as long as you refuse to reclaim your life and take control of your happiness. At times you want to run back into the abuse simply because it is all you know, and in that there is an element of feeling safe. Change can be horrifying.

Try to picture the following scenario:

You are in control. The future is before you, and the possibilities are endless. Love is yours for the asking. Respect is yours because you are worthy. You don't have to accept anything less than what you want and deserve. No longer will you be held back by self-defeating thoughts. You grasp your life and hold on for dear life, knowing that the ride is going to be worth it. It is yours and nobody can take it away from you unless you allow them to. You walk into your fear and come out stronger than before. You cry along the way, but learn to dance in the puddles rather than drown.

When you are finally able to reclaim your life, you will cease to live your life as a victim. You will be a survivor. Your life will be your own.