How to Recognize and Handle Fair Weather Friendships

Have you ever had someone in your life who is attached to your hip when things are going well but disappears once the going gets tough? That is what is commonly referred to as the "fair weather friend". This person looks to you for fun and amusement and promptly disappears when things are not quite so easy.

A "fair weather friend" is not truly a friendship.

The fundamental element of any friendship is that it should be reciprocal. Both parties need to want to become and remain friends. A fair weather friendship is usually one sided by contrast. Recognizing them can prove to be a challenge since it can be difficult to determine whether or not there is a pattern of behavior or if something else might be going on.

First and foremost, you need to take an honest look in the mirror and answer some questions before putting the blame on your friend. Do you have unrealistic expectations of your friends? Maybe you are too demanding? Or perhaps you are looking to your friend when you really should be looking for a therapist. Maybe there are some things going on in your friend's life that explain why it seems as though they are disappearing when things get tough for you. Maybe they are having troubles of their own that are making it difficult for them to be there for you.

If you answer those questions and determine that you have realistic expectations of this person and there is nothing else that you are aware of that would contribute to their behavior, then it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship. To a certain extent, this may be a rather subjective issue, but there are some universal truths where the concept of true friendship is concerned.

A fair weather friend is quick to jump ship when things become more challenging whereas a true friend stands by you and does not abandon you regardless of the circumstances.

Loyalty through thick and thin speaks volumes about true friendship. Honesty is another element of friendship that is not commonly found in fair weather friends. Honesty does not necessarily mean cruel truths but true friends can usually speak their minds directly and candidly. A fair weather friend has no interest in doing this since they are only interested in the positives of friendship without any of the negatives that potentially help us grow to be better people.