How to Recognize a True Friend

Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."

Over the course of our lives, we run into an untold amount of people. Some people boast of the number of friends they have, wearing the number like a prized badge on their clothing. But what is a friend really?

A friend isn't someone that we just put a name to a face and know a few details about. That's an acquaintance, someone that we know of, but we don't really know. It's important to clarify the difference in a friend and an acquaintance because the two are very different. To have an acquaintance turn into a friend would be wonderful. But to have a friend become only an acquaintance would be a heartbreaking loss.

So how do we know who is a friend? How do we recognize them? How does a friend stand out from the throng of people that call themselves our friend, but yet really have no clue as to what a friend really is?

Friends aren't clones of each other. They disagree on things. They don't always see eye to eye on issues. They might have different religious beliefs. They might be years apart in age or they might be the same age. They might come from totally different backgrounds or lifestyles. So what binds them together in such a way that they become friends?

Someone who is a friend puts their friend first. They don't consider themselves when caring for their friend. They think of the welfare and well being of their friend above their own needs. A friend listens and they encourage their friend to talk if they want to talk, and they are just there when no words are said or needed. They give new meaning to caring, because they don't talk about caring for someone, they show it and practice it.

A friend doesn't remind their friend of their past or how many times they failed and messed up. A friend reminds their friend that they are special and that they are loved, as they are, even when the friend doesn't feel so loved or special. A friend doesn't judge their friend, but neither do they tell them a wrong is right or okay. And most of all, a friend often knows their friend as well or better than the friend knows themselves.

Someone who isn't our friend will walk away when the storms of life hit. In fact, they will not just walk away but rather run away as fast as they can. They don't want to hear about our problems and they don't want to be burdened with us. A friend won't run away, they won't turn their backs when we are at our worst, and they won't leave us when they find out ugly details about our past. Someone who isn't our friend will turn away in a heartbeat, and no doubt blame you for their turning away.

Someone who isn't really a friend cannot possibly understand you because they don't know you. Sure, they might know your name and a few details about you. But they don't know you. A friend knows you, they understand you, and they care for you like no one else does.

As time moves on, a friend becomes more than a friend, the friend turns into family, someone that you simply cannot imagine your life without. They do indeed stick closer than a brother (or sister), they become a part of you. The idea of them not being a part of your life is unimaginable. And how did they become such a meaningful part of your life? They were a friend, they showed themselves friendly, and the friend became family.

When a person boasts of having so many friends, an untold number of friends, it doesn't impress me because they don't obviously know what a friend is. When a person is honored and blessed to call someone their friend, that does impress me, because that person knows what it's all about.