How to Recover the Family Meal

I used to love to watch Little House on the Prairie and The Waltons when I was a child. I was impressed with the feeling of togetherness and family, especially as they sat around the dinner table together. I noticed that they did more than just eat. They each had the opportunity to discuss their day and for those who had a problem, it was quickly noticed by Ma or Pa. To me, it seemed like a thing of the past. My family and I were not able to always eat together, as we had such different schedules and were not always home at the same time. I remember a gravy commercial that ran for many years in the UK that was finally taken off air a few years ago. Throughout the commercial, the parents and two children always sat down to their family meal in the evening. The reason it was taken off air was because it was decided that the family meal no longer reflected the modern society and that the commercial was therefore dated!

The family meal can accomplish much good in the family

* The family meal used to bring people together to eat and converse about the day's events
*The family meal was a good time to discuss problems

During Tony Blair's third term in office, he mentioned the pressing government agenda of "respect" and how bringing families together again for the family meal was a good starting point. Many older ones are aware of the how the younger generation are often sorely lacking in communication skills, especially with those who are not of their peer group. They may feel disconnected to older ones. Rather than sitting around the table and taking our time over our meals, a new culture has sprung up. Microwave dinners are much more popular than they used to be and it is not uncommon for children to come home from school, say very little to their family, grab a meal and then proceed to eat it in their bedroom or while they play on the computer. Some people believe that returning to the days of the family meal may help combat anti-social behaviour in children, as their family will be able to pick up more easily on their moods and how they feel about matters. The same is often said about those with eating disorders. Eating regularly as a family will help parents see if something is amiss in their child's eating pattern. It is not easy to hide eating disorders when the family habitually eats together. Who knows? It may even help to overcome such problems because it may be noticed more quickly and treated before it becomes life threatening. Dr Pat Spungin, who is a psychologist and founder of Raisingkids, firmly believes many children's anti-social behaviour can be stopped by eating together. He said that "If there is no place for teenagers to anchor their values they will turn to their peer group". Here In America, there is evidence to suggest that the family meal has made great contributions to society. The Centre for Alcohol and Substance Abuse found that in surveys conducted since 1996, children who do not eat a meal with their family are 61% more likely to engage in illegal activity such as using tobacco, alcohol and illicit drugs. The study went on to say that teenagers who do eat meals with their family were less likely to engage in underage sex, be involved in fights or be suspended from school.

What the family meal can recover

* The family meal can help foster respect for each family member
* Communication skills are better amongst children who enjoy a family meal
*Children are less likely to engage in illegal activity if they eat regularly with other family members

Parents cannot be blamed for the struggles they face to provide materially for their family and to also achieve all that they want in the home. It has become more common now for both spouses to work outside the home and more often than not, they arrive home at different times. When you get home tired, it is hardly surprising that you would rather throw together a convenience meal, rather than bring the whole family together for a three course meal. Then there are all the other concerns parents have about their children. Does homework need to be done? Help may be required and then there is the preparation for the school day. Not forgetting the fact that parents will want some time to themselves to unwind and relax. Preparing five family meals each week day may easily be changed to just one or two meals together at the weekend. It is just easier that way.

Reasons for the decline of the family meal

*With both couples working, it can be much harder to provide family meals during the week

Now I am trying to recover the lost family meal, by making it a practice to try and eat together with my husband a few times each week. I know it is not possible to have seven family meals together every evening in the week. So I am not even trying to aim for that because I will only be disappointed when it fails. My husband works early in the morning and does not come home for lunch, although I sometimes meet him for lunch. But having a quick lunch together with so many other people around is not really the ideal family meal setting. Noise, TV, children playing. That is the reality. But then there is the evening meal. A few times a week, I try to make this a more cozy affair, with a meal ready when my husband gets home. It is a nice experience to be able to leave the day's cares and worries to one side and to eat a meal together as a family. Think of all the lost hours of communication many of us suffer because we do not make the time to sit down with our families and enjoy their company as we eat. I was reading a report recently about how children are often neglected and ignored by their parents, especially during mealtimes. It went on to say that the parents are too tired, too busy and frankly could not be "bothered" with how their children's day had been. This lack of parental communication can led many children to seek attention elsewhere. I am not saying parents are responsible for criminal acts perpetuated by their children, but children need to know that they are valued and important too. Parents are not the only ones who have had a hard day. Children face many pressures from their peers, schoolwork and other areas of life, that they need a listening ear too. I am all for the return of the family meal. I really hope it happens because there are so many benefits to eating a meal together as a family. Before that happens though, we might need to make a few adjustments to our schedules.

Source:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4356992.stm