How to Make Your Relationship Decisions Better

Internet dating, or virtual relationships, can be just as devastating as real life relationships. More so, because the relationship is real life with elements missing. The onus of the relationship is carried on in the mind and imagination of each individual as they communicate via the internet and the phone. Due to this nature, there is often confusion and indecision concerning relationships.

The dating process is quite simple. However, dating is an important step that must be understood. There is a beginning. You see someone and are attracted to him or her. In an online setting, this may be through a dating website or a chat room. You strike up a conversation and after meeting online a few times, the middle process begins.

You begin dating. What this means is that you begin to chat with and spend time with this person online with no commitment involved. During this process you observe and experience their interaction with you and others and it results in the decision on if you would wish to see more of them or not.

That decision marks the End of the dating process. At this point, one of two things happens. You will either move on and stop seeing this person or you begin to see each other exclusively. In the online world, there are limitless opportunities and the end of the dating process is where virtual relationships begin to experience problems. Often times, people online will not care or concern themselves that you have chosen to date someone exclusively and will pursue you anyway. This can lead to problems within the relationship, especially if you are swayed by the attentions of others.

To build a proper relationship, online or in the real world, you must first understand yourself. When this is accomplished, making a choice to enter into a virtual relationship with someone will not be affected by the attentions of others. The cliché is that each new person is better than the last online, and since it is a virtual world where anyone can say anything they wish, be anyone they wish, confusion and indecision become common factors in making relationship decisions.

There are three basic areas of your life that you must have a solid view on to have a healthy relationship and make proper decisions. Those are:

Values

We all have values that we were taught or developed, as we grew older. In making proper relationship decisions, you should first start by finding someone who shares those values. Your relationship will have a stronger bond due to that influence. Do you believe in honesty and trust? Then the aspects and life of the man you choose should reflect that he has those same values. Often on the internet, one would find married people looking for extra-marital affairs. Should you be tempted to go this route, ask yourself if someone who is having an affair can reflect the values of honesty and trust?

Vision

You need to know what you want out of a relationship. Where, ultimately, you want to go with one. Having some idea on how to get there will help. This is another shared aspect of a relationship. When trying to choose between options, look to what the vision of your potential partner seems to be. Does he or she intend on a long-term relationship with all the responsibilities and exclusiveness that it implies? On the other hand, are they looking to have some fun with no thought to the future? Much can be said of living in the moment. However, if ultimately you wish to have someone there for the future, it might be a good idea to eliminate 'in the moment' thinking from your dating decisions.

Goals

We all have goals, spoken and hidden. The partner you choose should understand your goals and encourage them. Becoming actively involved in the pursuit of your goals will allow your partner to see the real you and you will know if he or she values that. In truth, a relationship is nothing more then two people dedicated to a common goal. So, make sure, before you cut out the wrong potential partner that you visualize their ability to stand beside you and help you reach your goals.

Not everyone you date will be a perfect match, sometimes things just do not work out. Understanding those, basic areas of your life are by no means the only criterion for making relationship decisions. However, they are very important. Knowing these things about yourself will allow you to understand what you are looking for in a partner. If the relationship cannot work out, be honest to yourself and to your partner and go your separate ways.

Always observe and assess your situation with each new prospective partner. When you feel you have discovered your match, set the boundaries on what you need, what you want and what you like. This allows your partner to treat you with the respect you are looking for. It shows whom you are and that you have no confusions about what you want.

Relationships are mutual. Both partners must be willing to work together to achieve the common goal of a loving relationship. If one partner does not live up to the ideals that you have set in your life, how could the relationship last? You will find yourself traveling from partner to partner looking for the one to satisfy your needs unless you know yourself, know who you are and know who you are not.