How to Remain Positive in Difficult Times

In today's economy, living a productive and positive lifestyle can be very difficult, both mentally and physically. If a family is also involved, not only are your mental concepts most important, but also those in your care. Understanding how to deal with difficult situations begins with the most important tool we have: the mind.

The third dimensional mind excels in problem solving, but it also can be very detrimental to our mental outlook. In order to use this powerful muscle, you first must understand how the mind rationalizes the thoughts we all have.

Are we held captive by the mind and its millions of thoughts, or can we learn to reprogram the mind to make it our friend, not our enemy? Let's take a look at some of the difficulties which can make the average day a living hell, and how we can make these difficult situations a learning experience, not something to regret the rest of your life.

Mental Stress

Physical and mental stress begins to dominate the day from the moment your eyes begin to open. The first thoughts of the day quickly begin to set your mood, and then changes and filters the next thoughts which enters the mind.

As mentioned earlier the mind loves to problem solve. This is what the mind excels in, so always keep this in mind. Be conscious of your thoughts, and what can be done by replaying them over and over in the mind. If a destructive thought keeps replaying itself, replace it with a positive one.

When the mind is overactive and wants to work overtime, change the thought pattern to a positive one, not a destructive one. This reprogramming will work, but you have to be aware of the thoughts before they take over the mind. Persistence is the key to changing thought patterns.

Most thoughts usually are in three categories:

1. Thoughts of Actions to be taken immediately

2. Memories, and Regrets from the Past

3. Worries or Thoughts about the Future

Usually the last two categories dominate the mind. Most of the time when a problem (or regret) enters the mind it's replayed over and over in the mind until stress begins to grow and dominate your thought patterns.

The ability to recognize these destructive thoughts is the first step in making the mind your most powerful tool. When a useless thought begins to plague the mind replace it with positive one. Soon the mind will adapt to this new mental pattern, and begin to do this automatically. Always keep in mind "persistence" is a must in controlling the mind!

Family Problems

George Santayana says it best in his quote: "The family is one of nature's masterpieces." But, sometimes this masterpiece can become a nightmare. In order to keep this nightmare from manifesting, everything must come together in a nice smooth manner. Now is when the miracle of love and trust comes into play.

Any given day hundreds of situations arrive at a moments notice. In order to coordinate all of these situations in an even flow, one would think the average parent would need the patience of a saint. Once you become a parent the journey begins, and never ends.

Always keep in mind that no situation is permanent; everything changes, especially with children. Try to keep your family's past mistakes or failures out of your future decisions before you react in most situations. Of course you need to keep in mind your children's track records along with their individual personalities, but always approach each new situation with a clean slate.

With the rising numbers of single parent families today, some parents can become overwhelmed by this situation. Again, do not live by the regrets of a failed marriage or a death of a spouse. Make the best out of this situation, and always remember the past can "never" be changed!

Acceptance is the most important part of change in order to quit repeating the same cycle (of mental problems) over and over again. Once you accept the outcome from the past or a difficult situation, the mind begins to let go and move on to the next cycle of life.

Financial Difficulties

Unemployment and unstable finances seems to be one the most rising problems in today's society. Having dealt with this situation for almost 2 years, this subject is very close to my heart. Now is the time when the ego kicks in and devastates the mind.

Any time problems begin the ego unconsciously takes over for the self preservation of the mind. Although most of the time being unaware of these thoughts the ego takes charge, and low self esteem begins to grow exponentially.

As the financial status begins to suffer you're soon left with a feeling of uselessness. Low self esteem becomes rampant, and insecurity becomes the most "productive" thought in the mind. Now you're left feeling that you don't deserve financial stability, and happiness is physically impossible. This is a trick of the mind and its elusive thought patterns.

Again, throw out these thoughts when they enter the mind. Don't be fooled with this mental trick! This again is a useless category two thought, and can't be changed. Mental awareness is always the first step in a healthy productive mind.

Living with low self esteem can sometimes grow into a deep never-ending depression. Now thoughts of regret and worry seem to overpopulate and crowd the mind. The ability to grow beyond these destructive thought patterns may sometimes require professional help.

Always talk to someone about your problems; never take them on alone. Now is the time when friends and family members are most important. Another opinion can sometimes be like a breath of fresh air. A new idea of coping with your problems, or new ways of thought you haven't perceived yet could be obtained if only you asked.

Nothing is impossible. Living in the moment (not the past or future) is the most important step of mental growth and stability. Every time one door closes another one opens. The trick is to be able to mentally see the open door, and to be open to any suggestions. No one is perfect. You have to accept that everyone needs help from time to time. This help does not reflect on your ability to deal with life and its changing situations.

In closing, I believe the serenity prayer could help you to see some problems that occur in a new light. Life is all about change. Some things just need to be experienced for the spiritual growth of the soul.

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen."

--Reinhold Niebuhr