How to Remember a Name

"I'm sorry, I'm terrible with names." Sound familiar? If you're like most of us, this phrase is a conditioned response. You'd love to remember names better, and save yourself the occasional embarrassment, but you just can't help it; you're bad with names. The fact is, nothing could be farther from the truth.

I am a recovering sorry-I'm-terrible-with-names person here to turn you into a good-with-names person. Whether it's in business or just socially, you will never regret the investment you make to become "good with names."

What's in a name?

It's been scientifically stated that the most beautiful sound in the world is hearing someone say your name. Personally I believe the most beautiful sound is "Dinner's ready" but I digress. Most of us have experienced someone we barely know say "Hello, John" or "Hello, Jane." The insertion of our name has a profound effect that communicates warmth and energy. Unless it's the creepy guy from down the hall, we are naturally drawn to people who use our name.

Conversely, meeting someone and forgetting their name can range from mild embarrassment, to professional disaster. Need I say more? We've all been there, and there will be times in life when "I'm not good with names" doesn't cut it.

You can and will make someone's day. Recently I walked past an old classmate and simply said: "Hey, Tim!" You see, Tim is one of those quiet, unpopular guys who usually walk swiftly with glazed eyes looking at the ground in front of them. But when I said his name, he slowed his pace, his eyes lit up, and with a rare smile he said "Hey!"

In leadership, I've found that the best leaders typically address people by their names. I am by nature a loyal person, but I can distinctly recall those people who tended to use my name more often had a more profound pull on my loyalty and my desire to do what they wanted me to do.

How to become a "good with names" person.

Now on to the good stuff. Most of us forget names about ten seconds after we hear it. Here are some practical tips for improvement.

Attitude. I believe your attitude is the most important step. The old "I can't remember names" is not only a lame excuse but it's the primary reason that we fail to remember names. It truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Change the attitude to "I will remember everyone's name" and you'll be on your way.

Make it a habit. Make a habit of remembering names. We often forget names because we forget to remember the name in the first place. By making it a habit, we remember to remember the name when it's most important: the first ten seconds.

Forget about yourself. We are usually so caught up in ourselves that we really don't focus on the other person like we should. Again, make a habit of learning and being interested in other people, not yourself.

Repetition and association. This works best for me. When I meet someone and they say their name, I repeat it in my head over and over. Sometimes I will think of words that rhyme with their name, can be associated with their face, or even a nickname. Perhaps you meet someone with red hair named "Eric." In your head, nickname him "Eric the red." It does consume a bit of mental energy to do this, but it's worth it, and by asking them questions and letting them talk, it gives your brain a chance to commit the name to memory.

Really hard names. Often we hear names we don't know given by people with unusual accents. The biggest mistake you can make is feeling embarrassed to ask them to repeat it, but do it politely of course. I recommend: "That's a nice name, how do you spell it"? Don't be afraid to try and pronounce it so you get it right. The fact is, people are flattered that you care enough to get it right.

Call everyone by their name. Once again, making a habit is key. If you integrate into your personality the practice of using everyone's name whenever you talk to them, you will be more focused on remembering names when you first meet people.

Practice. The world's least favorite word. Nothing productive can be done without practice. Get the names of everyone you come into contact with. If you're at a social event, go talk to someone you don't know and just get their name. You don't have to small talk for twenty minutes, just get their name, say a few things, and move along. If you're shopping and an employee helps you with something, ask their name, then remember it.

No matter what the situation is, you CAN be good with names. Successful people are almost always good with names. If you're like most of us, the only thing holding you back is mental laziness. Now go get 'em.