How to Repair a Damaged Relationship

All of us have been hurt or betrayed by someone at some point in our lives. The pain is terrible, and you may feel as if you can never trust that person again. At this point you will need to evaluate whether you really want this person in your life or not. If you decide that you do want them to remain a part of your life then you will have to learn to let go of the hurt and distrust, the anger and the resentment.

It has been said many times that people may forgive but will never forget. The truth is that to completely forgive is to actually put it from your mind and not ever bring it up or dwell upon it again. This is a very difficult thing to accomplish and it takes real honest emotion and the willingness to leave yourself vulnerable to the fact that this person may hurt you again.

Once you have been hurt the first thing you need to do is communicate to the person exactly what they did, and why it hurt you. Allow them to explain their actions and apologize. You may still be angry and need some time before you will be ready for forgiveness and attempting to repair the relationship. If this is the case then explain this to them, and give yourself time to come to terms with your disappointment.

Then when your anger and plans for revenge have subsided, make small efforts to include the person in plans you have with other people. As you begin to spend time around this person again, you will remember more of what you liked about them, and may come to realize that they didn't betray your trust or hurt your feelings intentionally. If you observe this person and see that they are still your friend and still matter to you then you will slowly be able to completely forgive them. This takes time and rebuilding trust can take even longer. But once you have put the incident behind you it is much easier to truly seem to forget and allow the person fully back into your life.

If the person is not contrite and doesn't make any effort to communicate to you that they are sorry for what happened, then you may need to rethink whether you really want them in your life.

Forgiveness is difficult, and once forgiven there is always the chance that the person will hurt you again, it is up to you to decide if you want to be in that situation. Make sure that you really want to forgive the person and if you do then commit to that wholeheartedly. If there is any hope for the relationship or friendship to continue this is the first step.