How to Resign from Your Job

Resigning from your job is a time that can be fraught with emotions. Depending on the reason for leaving, the experiences you had with the firm, and the people you are speaking to, your 'goodbyes' can run a wide range of tones and levels of effectiveness.

Many people allow themselves to show more emotion than judgment in both resigning to their boss and then breaking the news to others that they are leaving.

On one extreme, if they are leaving a job they didn't like, or a boss they didn't get along with, they might view it as an opportunity to let of some steam and really speak their minds.

On the other extreme, who have had good experiences and like the people they work with, might appear guilty or demonstrate that they feel really bad to be leaving; they can come across as almost sad and focused on the downside to leaving the firm.

Neither extreme is helpful. Resigning from your job properly can actually help your career. Doing it correctly and with some forethought is important for a number of reasons.

This article explores the reasons why leaving your job in the correct fashion is important, and the 'do's and don't's' of leaving your job.

Why It Matters

As career oriented professionals are aware, the workplace and careers are more fluid than ever. It's virtually unheard of for a professional to take a job, climb the corporate ladder as high as they can for 20 or 30 years and then retire. People today, across all industries, move jobs frequently. Companies themselves are bought and sold as never before. Communication and information flow is faster by the year and virtual workforces, outsourcing, consulting and Internet workplace gossip across company boundaries are all now a fact of life. People today are not identified by who they work for as much as what they do at work and what results they've been able to achieve.

The point of all this is that leaving a company might be a new page in your career story more than a new chapter. Most probably would already agree that your reputation follows you everywhere....and most would probably also agree that there's a lot of validity to the saying, "your reputation precedes you."

What is easy to ignore, however, is the fact that your reputation stays behind as well. And as you leave a job and walk out the door, the things you do and say, and the things you don't do and don't say, can often weight disproportionately to the reputation that you are leaving behind.

When you leave a job, many people take notice. Of course, your boss, your underlings, and the people around you each day notice you already on a regular basis. But when you leave, it enhances their senses about you. It's only human to wonder, "Why are they leaving anyway?"

Likely, some of these people know you well and have a good relationship with you. These people are probably inclined to believe the best about your motivations for leaving. Some you may count as friends of yours, even if the original relationship was established at this job.

But others, who you don't know as well, will likely start conjecturing. Obviously, every person will have their own perceptions and tendencies. Some people may immediately assume you have found a 'dream job'...or at least one far better than this one. Of those, some will feel genuinely happy and may even enjoy living vicariously through your newfound opportunity, believing that if you can do it coming from a similar circumstance, others can as well.

Others could be envious in a negative way. They might feel upstaged or insecure that a job that they feel very good to have is one that you would walk away from. These people are prone to inwardly or outwardly question your real motives.

Still others might be happy to see you go; not because they don't like you personally but because they believe it will open up new opportunities for them, or, that the company might "finally wake up that they need to fix things before they lose everybody!"

The point is, there's probably as many unique and varied reactions as there are individuals aware of your departure. But the vast majority of people will suddenly become more aware of you than they were before. Many of these people you might not know particularly well. You might have worked together once on a project. You might have had to work across departments to solve a customer issue. Or you might have done nothing more than attended an after work Happy Hour with them. But in any event, your visibility has suddenly expanded dramatically....right before you walk out the door and your visibility then quickly shrinks to a level lower than what it was before you resigned.

It is during this time that people will form a perspective about you that is stronger than ever...and one that will stay a bit frozen in time until and unless they meet you again.

At the outset of this article, I pointed out that people change jobs quickly; that information flow is rapid; that people now communicate much more freely about what former classmates, friends, and co-workers are doing. In all likelihood, unless you are at the tail end of your career, you will run into at least one person from the job you are leaving again. You might find yourself partnering with them. You might be competing with them. You might want to hire them, or them you. Increasingly popular now are 'blind references', where a potential employer will call somebody they know you worked with from a couple of jobs ago to get their feedback. The final and lasting impression you made will be important across all of these scenarios.

That final impression that you made, when everybody's senses about you were heightened, and right before you left, in the midst of the emotion and awkwardness and confusion and finality that leaving a job entails, is the one that people will remember in a disproportionate fashion as you suddenly need them again.

Make no mistake. I'm not suggesting that how you resign and what you say on your way out the door will permanently damage a well earned excellent reputation carefully built over years of service to the firm. Nor am I suggesting that if you've done something egregiously wrong prior to resigning that your farewell will cause all to forgive and forget. But don't underestimate the importance of a final impression.

Some 'goodbyes' will entail a formal exit interview. Firms use the exit interview to gain what they hope will be honest feedback from a departing employee that they can use to fix problems, be they structural or individual. Others may not have anything more formal than a 'happy hour' goodbye party. But generally, when you resign you will need to speak to your boss. Potentially, you will also speak to his or her boss. If you yourself are a boss of others, you will need to speak to them. Shortly thereafter, you will need to tell your co-workers, perhaps clients and support staff. While the levels of formality and processes can differ significantly, there are certain core do's and don'ts to follow.

Do's

1. Be direct.

In sitting with your boss to deliver what you know will be your resignation, say it as quickly as possible. At the very outset of the conversation, state words close to: "I am resigning to accept a position with another firm." Delivering a long preamble or dancing slowly around the issue until you get to it serves no purpose other than making you feel as if you're breaking the ice. This is a business...you are not trying to gently break up with a girl or boyfriend. The idea of 'letting someone down easily' doesn't apply in these scenarios.

Also, and this is more subtle, remember that no matter how valuable you are to the firm, your leaving is in all likelihood not going to 'bring down the house'. Yes, you've just added to the boss' responsibilities (i.e. replacing you and perhaps taking over your day to day responsibilities for a while), but acting as if you just hate to deliver this sort of news can imply, however unintentionally, that you think you're leaving is a very bad thing for the firm. And while it may in fact be a loss for your firm and your department, you don't want people forming an impression during this emotional and awkward time that you thought you were bigger than you really were. If you are taking a job that is fundamentally better (and if you weren't, why would you be leaving?), remember that there are some that will harbor some envy and resentment. Do nothing to feed this. Acting and speaking in a direct fashion sends the message that while you know you are appreciated, this is not a devastating effect for your boss or for the firm.

2. Honor, and UTILIZE the accepted 'advance notice' requirement.

For most firms and most positions, two weeks notice is the standard amount of time to stay with the firm and transition work and responsibilities. Whatever the time frame is, approach this time as a way to show that you are a committed professional. It's easy and common to just go through the motions or minimum required to get through this period and leave, but if you have the opportunity to truly help transition and in the process, demonstrate your knowledge of the job and pride you take in doing things correctly, it will leave a very lasting impression. It will also help you counter any discussion as you leave that perhaps you left a bad situation. When people leave, and there are problems after they leave, it is not at all uncommon for those remaining to blame the person who left. It's an easy out that even people who might not agree on much can agree on. It's nobody's fault here! It's the guy or gal or left! While wise people won't listen much to this, there will always be that doubt. You can't completely counteract this, but you can at least temper whatever whispers or accusations might exist after you leave.

3. Cut the cord.

While most of the focus on leaving a job is from the perspective of working hard to stay engaged and communicating properly as you leave, there is also the need to acknowledge reality. If you play on the company softball team, for example, once you've given notice, you need to step away and not play that night. You need to avoid Happy Hours that are as much company events as anything. Likewise, company holiday parties, birthday celebrations and lunches should be avoided.

Of course, every company has a different culture. It could be that your boss as your mentor has mixed feelings about seeing you go. He or she might not relish losing you, but understands that you are ready for the next challenge. In these scenarios, if your boss would like to host a farewell, then it's obviously perfectly acceptable. Or a group of co-workers want to go out for dinner before you're off, but away from the office in a discreet fashion, there's nothing wrong with that. But you need to make some judgments. Many, if not most, managers and some co-workers might quietly, or not so quietly, resent a 'hanger on' who is still partaking in the 'fun' side of work while knowing that they are off to bigger and better things. They may also fear that you are poisoning the well by hanging around current employees.

4. Understand the process.

Of course, it can be difficult to ask too many questions, but if you've been around the firm long enough, you should be able to gain a sense for how resignations are handled. Some companies will ask you to leave immediately, in fact, they might escort you to the door as they don't want you around sensitive company or customer information. If that's the case, be smart about it. Don't take anything that isn't yours, of course, but quietly organizing your personal belongings and whatever work things you can take with you in advance (a day or two in advance) will save the hassle of making a scene in the office by taking a lot of time to gather things. Obviously, if there's a two week notice periods, then you can use part of this time to do this. But if you have any doubt, you should clear things in front before you're doing so while being observed, or under a time constraint.

5. Be honest, but not too honest.

If you are asked to an 'exit interview', you will be asked a series of questions. Some will likely be focused on what you think of the firm, how things could be improved, and if any of the problems within the firms are catalysts to your leaving. Even if you do not give a formal exit interview, you will likely have the chance to give your impressions.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving constructive feedback. But there is little to be gained by badmouthing individuals or complaining about structural problems. It might make you feel better for a while, but remember that you are quickly becoming an outsider. Yes, the stated reason is to get a still insider to talk candidly. And you should feel a level of freedom about giving answers perhaps more bluntly than you might have before. But remember that there is a fine line between being candid and blunt and being a complainer and bitter.

Let's suppose you had a very bad relationship with co-worker or boss. If you tell them what you REALLY think, well, despite the confidential nature of the exit interview, it's likely to spread. And the person asking you the question may have hired, or at least approved the hire of the person. So while I don't suggest you be a phony, I would tactfully get your point across without becoming emotional.

There's nothing wrong with a 'no comment'; in fact it could be downright effective! If you praise most of those around you and say many positive things about your experience, and are then asked about an individual who you have low regard for, answering something along the lines of "You know, I'd really rather not comment on that individual. For the most part, I've had excellent experiences here and hope to stay in contact with the majority of the people I've worked with."

That type of statement shows maturity and a level head. You haven't said anything you don't believe and you haven't gotten into a position where it might get back to the person in question and then you begin a 'he said she said' scenario. Remember, you are leaving. That person is staying. He or she will have the final word. And really, there's nothing to be gained by 'venting'.

It is difficult if you are leaving co-workers that you like behind to deal with a difficult scenario. There is a temptation often to speak up on their behalf. And while it's great to be loyal, remember your job is to provide notice and move on in a professional manner. Once that is done, you are done. And while it's a noble impulse to speak up for those staying at the firm, the reality is whatever you say is likely to have very little effect. If you couldn't figure out a way to solve the problem when you were part of the team, how do you expect that you will solve it when you're leaving?

But not all feedback is destructive, of course. If you provide feedback on a process that you think you could improve, or on what you think customers really think of a new product, that can be helpful and appreciated! Again, it may be difficult for you to effect change on the way out the door, but certainly there's nothing wrong with giving a candid but fair and unemotional assessment as you leave. This will help contribute to the perception that you are a thoughtful and committed individual, even as you leave.

Don'ts

1. Don't stay in touch right away.

Starting a new job can be difficult in the sense that you are now suddenly 'friendless'. You're making your way in a new environment and haven't established any relationships as of yet. It's very tempting to reach out right away to your former co-workers. There's certainly nothing wrong with staying in touch with former colleagues. In fact, you should stay in touch! But give it some time. A two month 'grace period' makes sense. A month or six weeks in a new job seems like a long time when you're in a new environment, but it's not. Your former co-workers haven't forgotten you. But calling or emailing them right away is usually not the right thing to do. For one thing, the most obvious question they will have is, "how is the new place?" Of course you're going to say "great!" What else would you say a few weeks into it? And while you may believe it is great, you really don't know yet. And while they may still be dealing with the same frustrations at their job, expounding profusely on how great your new place is isn't really the best thing to do. Having, when the time is right, a reasoned and fact filled conversation about the new firm and/or the industry at large is fine...in fact it's a good idea. But calling during your initial two months or so is far too short a time to really have a meaningful conversation. Furthermore, if you ask how things are at the old place, well, nothing has changed. It's only been a month or so. So it's really an "empty calorie" conversation.

2. Don't express false remorse about leaving.

Sometimes people with good intentions might say, "Gee, this is so hard to leave this job", when the reality is it's anything but. You may of course like your co-workers. You may have had a great experience at the firm. It may have really propelled your career forward. But chances are it's not hard to leave if you're leaving. There may be some level of mixed emotion, but getting too deep into the 'remorse' game is foolish. Stating specific things you might miss, and sharing sincere appreciation of aspects of the job is a good thing to do. But don't pretend to be 'torn' over it. Don't create the impression that you really don't want to leave, but the opportunity is too good not to. People see through it anyway and casts doubt on much of what you are saying. Getting specific about things that you will miss is fine. "I will really miss the team we have had here...it's a great group of professionals", is a solid and believable statement (if you worked with good people). Or, "I have learned how to really be a professional at this company...I never want to forget that...", is another great perspective. But saying, "Oh...wow...what am I going to do without you guys? I hope I didn't make a mistake!" is phony and at best calls into question your judgment for leaving in the first place.

3. Don't write company wide farewell emails.

I see this a lot and it makes no sense. I get emails from people who I've never interacted with at the firm and now I have their cell phone and personal email address and a drawn out goodbye with all the wonderful experiences that the person has had. Sure, staying in touch is a good thing. But if I've never met you before, why this long and heartfelt goodbye with all your contact information? There's a reason websites like Linked-in exist...if you're interested in finding somebody who worked at your former company with you, then go there and get introduced! But a company wide email can irk those who would rather not see a departing employee announce to the world that he or she is leaving. And there's really no upside to it. Obviously, letting those close to you know what your personal email is and cell phone is smart. But copying the whole firm is silly and can be perceived as melodramatic. You're switching jobs, not leaving the planet. Goggle can find you. Don't worry.

4. Don't offer to help 'even after you leave'.

Well intentioned people will sometimes say, "hey, call me if I can help with this project even after I'm gone. You've already resigned. You're on to new things. You're not getting paid anymore. You've done all the right things during the two weeks notice that you gave. Offering to help after you leave, is silly. Now, there are exceptions. If it's a very small firm and you have been there to accomplish some specific things and if you can help without compromising your new employer, then there's little downside. Or, if the firm approaches and requests that if possible you give more than two weeks to help complete something, there's nothing wrong with doing so as long as it doesn't jeopardize your new position. But once you're gone, you're gone. Saying you can still be called to help is often an inherent conflict, and can also be construed that you overestimate your contributions.

In summary, every resignation is unique as is every company and every employee. But using these guidelines and using good judgment will help you preserve your good reputation and will very likely help you later in your career.