How Do You Respond when He Looks at Porn

Like most men, my husband likes to watch pornography. And I'm happy for him to do so - in fact, sometimes, if the mood takes me, I might sit down and watch a porn film with him, just to keep him company. Several friends think my attitude is strange - they would never dream of watching pornography, with or without their husbands. Moreover,they take the view that if their husbands watch porn, it's only a matter of time before they either go looking for sex with other women, or try out some of the more adventurous moves at home.

I feel sorry for women who have that attitude to their men watching pornography, because I think it creates a problem out of nothing. Watching pornography is a man thing, and as long as they don't watch it 24/7 to the exclusion of everything else, or try to force their wives to enact scenes from the movies, I don't think there is anything to worry about.

Normal pornography - and by normal, I mean stuff that is neither perverted nor illegal, such as bestiality or child porn - is just fantasy, a fairy tale for adults. The things that happen in porn films just don't happen in real life, but there's nothing wrong in watching, and it's better that your husband views his porn openly and with your endorsement, if not approval, than surreptitiously behind locked doors. It's no big deal, and it doesn't mean he doesn't love you or respect you any more - it just means he likes to watch porn.

Just because your man likes watching beautiful young ladies making out, it doesn't mean he's going to go off and find his own nubile nymphet to practice on. Our Border Collie used to chase cars, but if he'd managed to catch one, he wouldn't have had a clue what to do next, and you can probably apply the same analogy to your husband and his porn stars. Most men would run a mile when confronted with such overt sexuality in real life.

In Spain, where I live, the attitude to pornography is much more relaxed than it is in the UK. Porn films are not under the counter, they're alongside the rest of the DVDs. It may be a shock for Great Aunt Mildred when she's leafing through the musicals and comes across 'Big Breasted Babes in the Wood,' but as far as the Spanish are concerned, pornography is nothing out of the ordinary. I think that's quite a healthy attitude to take, especially within a marriage.