How to Respond and Reply to Rude E-mails

Every so often we all get at least one email that has made us blow off our lids. Yup, even I've got some. Some emails are actually rude while others seem rude although they aren't, some come as cool headed as a cucumber while others simply try too hard to act smart and end up looking like an ass. Emails depict the personality of the sender. If the sender is a meek and weak person, the language in the email will depict it. If the sender is a strong hearted or hot headed person, the email will depict that. It's basically like a mirror. Why? We are all taught to write down our feelings, and emails are representations of our thoughts.

Whereas some people simply lack an iota of decency to send a polite email they take the aggressive route, leading to misunderstandings. Such people may try to act smart and all godly but it is imperative that you maintain your cool headedness especially on job emails. If the other person cannot be professional in his/her approach, you should be.

Recently I got a rude email, complete with text formatting and font enlargement with Bold and Underlines only to show his aggression or point. So what did I do? I simply ignored his callous email, choose my words carefully and made my points with clarity in point wise and lucid manner and ended it in a professional approach. If he continues to be rude for no justified reason and only to show his macho side, I simply ignore his emails. I just don't respond at all. Remember, just because you have got an email swearing and abusing you, it doesn't mean you have to reply to it. In case you feel you must respond, be kind, polite but firm or sternly professional and take the higher ground. Do not stoop to his/her level of lack of character and etiquette.

Whereas there are some people who send genuine emails with good intentions but reading them makes it look rude. Well, that's simply because of a few grammatical and punctuation mistakes that make it seem rude when they aren't. Just send them an email starting their mistakes and request them to avoid that in future.

The signs of a rude email include the following traits. The language is derogatory or abusive, written in all capitals (signifying yelling), no "Dear Sir" or "Thanking you" only text body demanding something or giving instruction to do something, unkind words implying personal accusations, having a lot of exclamation or question marks, large fonts and is marking a CC to other people also. All these can be cause for legal action on basis of threatening, harassing, slurring and abusing in workplace.

Below are stated a few ways to manage and respond to such rude emails.

1. Breathe easy, do not reply straight away.

When you come across a rude email in your inbox, don't simply start writing back. Hold on. Relax; breathe easy for a few minutes. Do not reply straight away. If it is not an urgent email, then take a break. Do something else for a while then get back to the email later. Let the language and rudeness sink into your head. There is no point in using "tit for tat" techniques; it'll only make matters worse. Instead, try a more sophisticated approach. Write back in a well laid out and professional manner. There is no point in blurting out your emotional and sentimental statements. Hold off sending a harsh reply until you completely understand the email and its objective. Cool down first then think. Never reply back in angry words as they'll be in record forever.

2. Determine Intent.

Before throwing a fit and giving a stark and point blank answer. Wait, read and re-read the email. Determine the intent of the email. If the person is known to you then think if the person has poor communication skill. Some people just lack basic etiquette. Sometimes people are just afraid to say things to your face hence they send rude emails telling you what to do. In that case, analyze if it's just a simple bluff or is the person actually angry and rude. Read the email carefully before finalizing on its intent.

3. Begin with politeness.

When dealing with an aggressive person, simply start politely with something like, "Received your email, thank you." Or "Thank you for your valued feedback." I'm not saying that you have to accept his/her rudeness. I'm simply saying that sometimes a polite gesture gets them off guard because they are expecting a similar aggressive email only to take the fight bigger. Remember cyber bullies are on the net and is a major depressing factor for people. Sometimes customers and co-workers will send rude emails, there professional approach is best.

4. Seek clarification.

If there is something which you do not understand then simply write back to give you a point wise approach to the problem or situation. The next step is calling the person but email is better as it is a written record. If the person is only venting his/her anger or simply being rude for no reason, ask them politely to maintain certain standards in communication and that you won't respond to any future threatening and rude email.

5. Figure out a Solution.

Rude emails are of two types, either the sender is a disgruntled customer or a co-worker who only wants to bring you down. If it's the latter, simply ignore it. If it is a customer, speak with your superior and co-workers and figure out a solution to his/her problem. If it's a customer, simply say, "We're looking into the matter and will get back to you shortly," professional like that. If it's a co-worker who just wants to one up you, we'll simply give a kind reply. But never lose your cool in an email, remember it is a written statement and can be held against you any time.

6. Don't stoop to his/her standards.

Many people simply start writing an equally angry email back, never do it. But that does not mean that you have to take his/her nonsense either. Stick to your ground. Set down the ground rules for the person, making sure that you get your point across that you won't take his nonsense. Very politely, ask him or her to be a little less aggressive in future. Acknowledge the person that although you have taken note of his/her issue you are not comfortable with his/her use of language and to maintain a professional approach.

7. Read and re-read your reply.

Before hitting the send button, read your reply and then re-read it. Make sure your reply is simple, polite, to the point, does not contain any inflammatory or equally rude words. Be sure that what you are sending is professional. There is no point in you being emotionally verbal in your reply.

8. Don't reply back

Sometimes keeping quiet is a good idea. Ignorance is bliss. If someone sends you a rude email then there is also a possibility that you don't need to reply to it. May be the person was having a bad day and is taking it out on the email. Give him/her the benefit of doubt. So simply do not reply.

9. Superior advice

If the pattern of rude emails continues then simply speak with your supervisor or manager or human resource department. Rude emails are known to endanger the morale and self esteem of a person. Moreover you should not be bullied by anyone. Take the matter to them and ask them for help in this case.

People are like children when sending emails and sometimes don't know how to choose the right words and phrases. Although you may feel like knocking their lights out or sending them equally vicious and rude emails, don't do that. That will only escalate the problem. But when someone is being rude on purpose, you'll have to take a stand against that kind of nonsense.