How to Revitalize Your Sex Life After Baby

The Only Three Ways that Worked for Me

Caiston McQueen
Caiston McQueen, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Mar 15, 2007 "Share your voice on Yahoo! websites. Start Here."
Having a baby can diminish your sex drive and make your partner go from hero'¦to zero. Nursing, sleep deprivation, stress, anxiety about your body, and anxiety about your new role in life can all hurt your sexual relationship. What is a girl to do? Here are the three steps I took to be able to get mine back and reclaim my inner vixen.

Step One: Have a drink. Or two.

I give you permission to have a couple of glasses of wine, even if you are nursing. Heck, especially if you are nursing. Nursing does diminish sex drive. This is because a nursing mother'™s hormones are in flux for as long as she is nursing. Alcohol can help. I am not advocating that you lay down on the bar and take Jaeger shots. I am simply saying that having a glass or two of wine or beer can help you to let down your hair a little. It can make you feel sexy and free. It is not a cure-all, but really just Step One in this three-step process.

Step Two: If you build it'¦

Initiate, initiate, initiate. Even if you do not feel like having sex. Modern feminists might kill me for saying it, but sometimes you just have to go for it even if you do not feel like you are in the mood. This is somewhat for your partner'™s sake, but mostly for your own sake. Women rarely experience moments of random arousal throughout the day like men do. Women often do not feel aroused until they have begun some form of foreplay or even the actual act of intercourse. Initiating sex even when not aroused can put you in charge of your sex drive. You can bring yourself to the point of arousal instead of waiting for that point to come knocking on your door.

Step Three: Smooth sailing

Lube, lube, and more lube! You need lube. Do not question this. There are several options out there. If you prefer natural products, try coconut or apricot oil. Both can be bought organic, and both come with the added bonus of being edible. If you prefer to buy specialty lubricants, there are products out there that create a warming sensation and products that come in a variety of flavors. What fun!

Provided there is not an underlying medical problem, that is all you need to reclaim your se life after having a baby. Good luck, and have fun.

Published by Caiston McQueen

I grew up in Kailua, Hawaii, and have recently relocated to Portland, Oregon with my family. I am a writer and super-mom.  View profile

  • Step One: Have a drink. Or two.
  • Step Two: If you build it
  • Step Three: Smooth sailing
Women rarely experience moments of random arousal throughout the day like men do. Women often do not feel aroused until they have begun some form of foreplay or even the actual act of intercourse.

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