How to Get Rid of a Fruitcake

Tthe time-honored method for ridding yourself of that dreaded 5-pound holiday confection is to pass it on to someone else, more or less uneaten. There is, however, another way that is far more satisfying: violent disintegration.

If you plan to be in the vicinity of Colorado Springs during the month of January, be sure to bring along your Aunt Mabel's homemade doorstop for the annual Manitou Springs Great Fruitcake Toss. During this exciting event, contestants toss, hurl, launch, and drive (as in with a driver...Fore!) fruitcakes for distance. Fruitcakes must be made from flour, fruit, and nuts and may not contain inedible ingredients (as to whether the cake itself is edible, that's another story). If you forget your fruitcake or it gets eaten by rodents on the way, you can "rent" one for 50 cents.

If you are a mechanical engineer or spent quality time in a fraternity house, you may want to consider the launch competition. In the launch, competitors use homemade human-powered devices, ranging from medievalstyle catapults to water balloon slingshots, to bombard greater Manitou Springs with stale fruitcake. The contest is held in Memorial Park, near City Hall, on the first weekend following New Year's. Admission is free. Be sure to park at least a block away. Last year's winning toss was over 300 feet.