How to Run a Rock Band Without Leaving Home

I manage three working bands; I'm adding a fourth later this week. My best seller is an ambient trance one-woman show, working under the name StareStillAtMyEyes. My reggae troupe, Jahmeyka Ham, is gearing up to write their third album. And the last ensemble is My Gaia, a world music, folk, earth trio, whatever the heck that is. Think 'woodland hippies.'

Thanks to my crews, I've got more than 2 million in my pocket right now. I work about an hour a day. I love being a band manager. As a famous man once said, "The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades." (1) I love the smell of platinum in the morning, don't you?

You can do all this and more by joining me at Project Rockstar, the free, online rock band manager game.

The game began in 2000, masterminded by the UK based viral game specialists and code gods at Kerb. The company designs computer games for corporate clients. The idea behind Project Rockstar is simple. You create and manage a professional band using any one of dozens genres (including rap and classical). Your job is to get the musicians to practice, write and record songs, gig, promote and, every so often, strip naked and run around a hotel. Now well into its sixth round, PR hosts thousands of enthusiasts quite literally from all over the world.

Getting started is easy-just create a manager persona, fill out the usual online game info and pick the kind of band you want to manage. In my case, I have my soul-reggae trio, a folk-world music threesome and an ethereal solo artist doing dance-ambient. I dote on them and buy them marvelous toys (everyone needs an "Alien Stash Tin Bandmobile," limited edition, of course). We go to all the best PR music festivals.

The game dashboard design is beautiful, intuitive and responsive. Icons allow you to move rapidly through the relevant action screens. And once you get used to the pumpkin and blue color scheme, the game is delicious to look at. Banner ads, the necessary evil that allows free games to remain free, actually fit the overall composition-and the white background allows the player to barely register them.

Don't like rock? There are nearly forty different genre styles including solo vocalist and classical chamber. You can even manage a barbershop quartet.

The current version of the game allows players to write their own lyrics and, thanks to the glories of Photoshop, to create and upload their own album covers. Once you advance a bit in the musical dynasty building process, you can even develop your own venue and sign other PR bands to play at your virtual site.

By guiding the talent between blindingly difficult promoting and gigging schedules and the functional rehab of practicing, writing and recording music, you strive to keep your ever fragile artists far away from fatigue-they can succumb to depression and suicide if you don't.

Like most great games, Project Rockstar is easy to learn and somewhat difficult to master. Kerb and company have built in lots of trial and error opportunities ranging from choosing the right promo plan (like promoting their own brand of Whiskey) and selecting a recording studio (believe it or not "Cleggan McYeehaw's Lil 'Ol Studios" works well for one of my bands). For some unknown reason, the "Hammersmith Tube Busker Do" is not a great venue for my reggae band. Go figure.

Fortunately, there are busloads of virtual roadies. These are the online admins, helpers and babels who help make sense of everything. Any successful manager will learn when to contact them.

Of course, being a manager means being a problem solver. I had this little piece of heaven in my daily email band report. "Damaris Newbolt of Jahmeyka Ham made a clumsy pass at Ant Bingo on the 'DecadAnt Saturday Show' and it was all rather embarrassing - sales are down."(2) Damaris, Damaris. And just when we had released that hot single. Oh well, back to the studio.

Here are some more basic how-to tips for getting your traction as a new player. First, always buy the weekly lottery tickets-I've won twice over the last few months. There's nothing like a cool million to send you to the shops for cigars as big as pontoons (and the luxury of giving a petulant band member a couple weeks off). Plus you can use the proceeds to hire more talented musicians-yeah, that means you have to fire people now and then too. Don't worry, there's a severance package built into the game.

Second, be charitable-you're always prompted to donate money to charity and your bands thrive on your altruism. It's an example of the culture of politeness that, thankfully, infuses this Brit-based game. It's better to be a bit more Bob Geldof than Elvis's Colonel Tom Parker.

Finally be sure to participate in the forums. There is a ton of inside information (helping take the edge off that trial and error mystique). And I give them a 9.9 on the Noob-friendly meter. The forums are well moderated and being nice is a minimum expectation. And if you're into languages other than English, you'll enjoy the Spanish, French or Swedish translations and sub-forums.

One more thing about participation: the recent winner of an in-game competition, "Live Like a Rock Star" scored a stay at the very posh Baglioni Hotel in London. It's one of those places where if you have to ask the price, you can't afford it.

Unless of course you're staying there for the week with your reggae, ambient dance and world folk bands in the lap of the oh so decadent Project Rockstar manager muse.

Jump on the Project Rockstar tour bus and, as always, turn it up!

References:
(1) Timbuk 3, "Greetings from Timbuk 3", MCA, B000002O2P1986.
(2) Project Rockstar, viral game specialists, 2000-2007.