How to Safely Online Date

Jumping back into the dating whirlpool after a divorce or a relationship break-up can be terrifying. The personal sense of comfort and boundaries you may have had in your past relationship are now totally gone. Besides casual encounters or friend's offerings of blind dates, online dating sites promote themselves as being wonderful, easy ways to meet that special soul mate. Buyers beware. This definitely is referring to safety with online dating. In today's world you can't be too careful, and if you're serious about using online dating, here are a few guidelines to safely online date.

1-Don't trust anyone. I repeat, don't trust anyone. Trust is something that has to be earned, and this takes time in a relationship. Do not place your personal safety in a new online dating relationship.

2-Do not believe the photo image you view online is a true one. Photoshop is an excellent tool, but it can also make a cruel reality when you meet the true living image face to face. Anyone can have a first online date, and even report they've had many first dates, but for a second date personal attraction does count. To cut out a potential online dating image disaster, have the potential online dater forward you a recent full length photo, holding up a recent newspaper. This assures you're viewing an un-doctored image. At this point you can bow out gracefully on-line. Also being truthful about your age may be a good point to follow.

3-Read potential date's messages carefully. If spelling and grammar are really off, don't expect to meet a rocket scientist. Computer illiterate is one thing, but learning how to use spell check is a gracious thing to do. First impressions do count. Message content is also something to be aware of, especially if you're looking for a long term commitment. Graphic language may be a turn-on to some online daters, while religious fervor is a turn-off to others. Likes and dislikes are areas all online daters should be honest with. A sports fanatic who likes to attend all his various teams' games may not necessarily match with someone who prefers attending the theatre.

4-Don't assume the potential online dater's profile is totally realistic. Pinocchio's nose grows when he lies, but unfortunately you can't discern all the lies in an overly-exaggerated profile. Question, question, and re-question. If it sounds too good to be true, then you can't express disappointment when reality falls far short of your expectation of the potential online date's profile. Maintain a personal sense of safety, and awareness you won't meet an online date with the intention to change their personality or beliefs.

5-Always converse on the phone several times before deciding to meet an online date. If the online dater appears overly eager, wants to cut to the chase, be extremely alert. See if the conversation flows easily or do you feel you have to pull teeth to fill dead space. Shyness is one thing, but the inability to hold a normal conversation may be a red flag. Then again, if you find you can't get in a word edgewise, also red flag it. Nervousness may be the reason, but a self-inflated ego is a negative. Go with your gut feeling before deciding to meet. Again safety comes first with online dating.

6-Watch out for ex-relationship bashers. Watch out for the online dater who swears every past relationship was a nightmare, and goes into vivid details. We've all had bad dating experiences, but supposedly we should be over them before attempting to start another relationship. Also watch out for the online dater who compares you to their ex, negative or positive. Watch out for the online dater who talks non-stop about their ex. Most certainly anyone wearing their wedding ring or living with their partner, aren't looking for a serious relationship.

7-Expect safety and honesty with online dating. If you're seriously ready for dating, present yourself honestly. A false persona falls apart really fast. Present yourself as who you are and expect the same.

8-Dress with comfort when you meet your online date. Casual but neat attire is the best style to meet an online date. It takes your mind off of worrying about comfort so you can concentrate on the date. Dress as you usually dress and let the online dater be aware of your normal dressing style. Someone who is comfortable wearing tailored suits all the time may not be compatible with someone who usually dresses in sweats.

9-First online date meeting should preferably be coffee in a casual atmosphere. It's better to shy away from alcohol the first time, so you can present yourself without any alcohol or drug impairment. Don't take that valium. This also means no full dining experience. You'll be too guarded, aware of your eating style and not focused on learning about your online date.

10-If an online dater is reluctant or refuses to give out their cell-phone, or refuses to speak on the phone before meeting face to face, this is definitely a red flag. Safety comes first. If you decide to meet your online date and they cancel, or reschedule at the last moment, another red flag. Again safety, honesty, and courtesy are important with online dating.

11-Safety, safety, safety. Be aware of your surroundings when you meet an online date. Do not share personal addresses before initially meeting an online date. Meet during the daytime in a public place with other people around. Let someone be aware of your online date, and where you decided to meet. Maintain phone contact with your safe person. This refers mainly for female online daters, but either sex can take this point. A stalker can be either sex. If you're a female online dater make sure you leave the date location first, and assure you're not being followed home. Always select a meeting place where you'll feel comfortable. Don't travel to an unknown region. Again male online daters, you should defer to females with these recommendations.

12-At the end of the date, decide whether you want to further the relationship. It takes maturity on both sides to be completely honest. No game playing. Agree to halt further contact if you don't feel any compatibility.

13-With today's fast paced lifestyles, online dating is the number one way to meet someone for a possible relationship. Online dating can be fun, potentially offer a way to meet someone for a possible long term relationship, if you desire. Online dating can also be a safe way to meet people, if you do your groundwork first. Unfortunately in today's society you have to be more concerned about safety with online dating, because of the high risk of meeting someone who may just be out for games, a potential stalker, or other unstable personality.

14-Safety first, and always research online dating websites. Stay away from ones that offer casual encounters if you're looking for someone serious. Also stay away from ones that seek high fees in order to receive access to online daters. Try to use an online dating site that prescreens potential members, another way to enhance safety, though no online dating site will take responsibility for anyone you meet. They advise you assure your own safety before meeting potential online daters.

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