How to Save Your Marriage

Many factors come into play when it comes to saving a marriage. To start you need to ask yourself is your marriage worth saving? Am you only staying for the children, if there are any? Do you truly love your husband/wife unconditionally and want to spend the rest of your time here with this person. Are you or have you ever been truly happy with this person? Do they make you smile, make you laugh, support your decisions, hopes, dreams and is spending time with them what you truly want to do?

If you have answered yes to the above, then lets move on to what you can do to save your marriage, build that future and find the happiness that everyone deserves, that somehow gets lost. All the ways that I will be mentioning are from my own personal experiences.

The first step is to go back to those basics, when you were dating, lived in different places and couldn't wait for that phone to ring or to just sit in the car for hours talking endlessly. If you have children, arrange serious alone time, where you can truly listen to each other and talk freely. Try to avoid topics such as the kids, your work, and focus on your relationship. Both parties must be willing to do this as a team and listen to each other without judgment. You can't be afraid to speak your mind about your feelings, wants and needs. Communication is a major key in success, especially in marriages. You can't be afraid to speak your mind.

When you are at home, try to be more involved with what the other is doing. If your husband is watching sports, bite the bullet and sit and watch for a while. Ask him questions, be interested, because if this is something he truly likes then he will want you to know more and enjoy having you to share it with. If you're a husband and your wife is doing dishes, sit in the kitchen with her while she does them and just talk. She will appreciate the company and it also could be a good time to catch up.

Make a date for "us" time, even if it just once a week, obviously based on your circumstances this could be as often as you can fit in. Make time for romance in the bedroom, use candles, listen to those songs you both love to hear and just enjoy this time together. This also could be your open time to talk, sex doesn't always have to be the only reason you are alone together.

My next step is something my husband and I do to this day. In my case, I have a husband who loves his television. Many shows he watches really don't interest me. Some I have learned to watch just to spend that time with him. Mostly, we got a DVR, so he can tape his shows that he likes and I can do the same. During times when I am out shopping or busy with the kids, he can watch what he wants in peace and I can do the same when my time allows. What we also did was find a series that we both enjoyed watching; such as I told him about "Lost" he had never watched them. We order series that we both enjoy and when there is not a mutual show on television we put our agreed series on, or a movie we both want to see, we sit on the couch and mutually enjoy what we are watching and the time we are together.

If you have children attend school functions together with your spouse. If your children are involved in sports or other activities you can also do this together as a team. I have sat many a cold night watching my son play baseball, but I had my husband beside me to keep me warm. You can also just go to a movie as a family, play games at home, watch a family movie, and make sure to have family time; this is also being with your spouse time.

My last and best advice I have to offer is to love your spouse for who they are, remember why you fell in love in the first place. Do not try to change people; this never works. Accept yourself for who you are and look to share who you are with your spouse. With time, work, love, acceptance, alone time, common interests, sharing, and most of listening you can overcome so many obstacles in your path and be fulfilled with everlasting love.